I Love Him, I Hate Him, I Wish For His Death The
by Who really Knows
Summary: Sasuke, a loner, struggles to deal with his feelings for Naruto, one of the most popular kids in school as the two of them have to deal with a particularly challenging task. Warning: Abused Sasuke, Either SasuNaru or Naru
1. Chapter 1

**I Love Him, I Hate Him, I Wish For His Death; The Many Petals of a Flower Out Of Place **

**Chapter One; I Hate Him**

_Today is going to be a good day; I'm going to get up! Get dressed! And see the world_-SLAM- the noise echoes throughout the entire library catching a few heads who looked my way curiously. I gave them the finger as I slammed the book down and picked up the next title. All these books are crap.

Crap doesn't even begin to explain it; crap is something I can stand to look at, something we all have a little bit of. This book isn't crap; it's an insult to crap. You know what it is? Idiocy. When I asked the librarian if she knew any good books, I was asking her for books, I meant BOOKS and I wonder if she is just stupid or lazy to give me these piles of idiocy.

"Will you be quiet?" Wow real nice idiot, yelling for others to be quiet in a library. I slam another book on the table, being told what to do isn't appealing in the slightest, especially when the orders come from a stranger. I could hear the snickers of others and wondered what was so funny, then the slight thud of shoes walking across the tile of the floor. Great, they are coming over to tell my off from the direction behind me, I can't even see what they look like and I'm not even going to look. "What's your problem?"

I rolled my eyes, turning around to see the one person I thought I would never find in a place like this. Naruto Uzumaki, the ever popular energetic sports player of our craptastic high school a guy who I have never liked and never will is glaring down at me with heavy eyes. I rolled my eyes again as recognition appeared on his features, "My problem is idiocy, Idiot. Who even know someone like you would be here, I mean can you even read?"

"What!" Naruto loudly growled, his eyes going wide before narrowing again. That's right idiot, you can hear can't you? He reached out, trying to clutch my shirt and pull me out of the chair. I dodged him, spinning out of the seat and turning to face him head on. Bring it. Naruto heard my challenge as his body positioned itself for a fight. We were ready.

We are ready.

But then he shakes his head, making some sort of noise as thoughts rushed in his head, probably for the first time ever. "What is your problem with me?"

My problem? My problem is that you went from being a nobody to a somebody in ten seconds flat running me over in the process. My problem is that a dead last should always be a dead last. My problem is that I can hear you mocking me everywhere, saying "well now aren't I better than you now?" and you never shut up with that pathetic annoying voice. "I don't have a problem with you Uzumaki."

I can hear his friends whispering in the background, the librarian stands nearby watching closely. I better not risk this, at least not this time. With on good friendly gesture towards Naruto, and the same to the librarian, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and decided to head home. But their voices can be heard as I exit the building, "Man, that Sasuke kid is the worst."

At least I'm not the stupidest.

I live alone, well actually that's not quite true I have a father who is never home, a brother who may as well not exist and a cat whose name I don't know.

I live alone.

Normally I am not so generally angry, but this morning my father yelled at me for something so stupid I don't even remember what it was. It doesn't matter, because that wasn't the real reason he was yelling at me anyway. He was yelling at me for my mother's death and my brother's intolerance. He was yelling at me for the business deal gone wrong and the underlings who fucked up. Because truthfully I never do anything to his knowledge worth yelling about, it's almost always something else.

But it's better than when he's nice to me, because his niceness is something I never want to feel.

Throwing some laundry one my bed, I head for the mirror. I look nothing like my father, my older brother looks more like him, but I look like my mother. I might even be prettier than my mother. The thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth; I don't want to be pretty. I don't want to be anything.

"MEOW~!" cooed the cat, I glared at it as it jumped on the counter and rubbed itself on my arm, a light purr coming from its depths. I picked it up, deciding to carry it downstairs to the kitchen. Just as I reach the foot of the stairs, the door opens revealing my brother Itachi.

"What are you doing home?" I asked, he regarded me with his usual stoic look, not really looking at me but around me. It wasn't always like this, once upon a time he was someone who I used to look up to. He was someone who adored me. I don't know what changed, I don't know when it changed but it's formed slowly with each passing year. Now he no longer meets my gaze.

"Has father been home." He said it like a question but it wasn't, it was just small talk. We both know that father only comes home once a week, every Saturday and today is Sunday. Should I humor him? Should I shoot him down? Well, he is trying for some sort of small talk isn't he? It would be nice to give him a break.

But I am not a nice person.

"You already know, why do you bother wasting your breath on stupid questions. It wastes my time and yours." I release the cat onto the floor as I say it. I have to wonder is it really coming from my mouth or from somewhere deep inside. From that somewhere deep inside that sometimes screams "Look at me! See me!" until its voice is raw and it can scream no more. But the screams fall on deaf ears, Itachi walks past me climbing the stairs and closing himself in the room that has been defined as "his".

The happenings of today will meet tomorrow and like a switch I will become the punching bag instead of the fists.

The next day: isn't that something weird to say, almost like telling a story in one of those bad long jokes others seem to get a kick out of.

Either way it doesn't matter because it's Monday, and Naruto King of the Idiots is not going to let me live down my library fit. By the time I make it to my first class I can hear the buzzing whispers and stares at my back. What is so fascinating about me? Why do they feel as if I am more important to their lives than Algebra? Do they plan to be nothing but dirty stupid flies, buzzing on the wall all day?

Then the King arrives.

He sends me one look, just one, but I don't know what he means by it. Either way what does it matter? At the end of the day he is still just a dead last in my book. Who will he be after this dreaded four years of our lives? A homeless man? A fly?

Algebra went by fairly quick, along with the rest of my day. The only notable thing that occurred was an upheaval of gossip when Naruto was checked out suddenly, supposedly because of an emergency. I just honestly think it's a dentist appointment and people are overacting as usual. That just how gossip involving Naruto goes. Honestly one person is not so important, I don't know what the big deal is with that idea that it can't be drilled into skulls and taken to heart.

It wasn't until afterschool that the day became wrecked. The cellphone I hardly use started to ring madly, I stared at the ID, "Father" blared in my face. Does my dad ever call? I believe he has only called me one other time to ask me unspeakable questions. What am I doing? Answer the phone already Sasuke. "Yes, Father?"

A pause, a never good pause happens before he continues, "Why did you not pick up right away?"

Luckily I have a standard list of replies for this question prepared, "A teacher was talking to me, I didn't want to be rude and make you look bad."

Another pause as he considered my offer of explanation, "Very well, I have news for you. An important client's son will be spending some time with us. About a month maybe, do your best to please him…and Sasuke. Do not make any mistakes."

"Yes, sir." I replied, swallowing the invisible object that caught in my throat. Great entertaining, I hate entertaining. Granted, there have ever only been two people to entertain in the history of my dad's career that I remember but still.

It's annoying.

I exhaled as the phone clicked. It was over. I was free if only temporarily so. Ignoring the pestering people on the walk home, with their taunts and sudden opinions about "throwing books at an innocent Naruto in the library yesterday" as they put it, it was a pretty good walk. I spaced out and thought about all the different ways I would like to torture him.

My favorite is when I picture myself on top of him, my hands holding him down and I'm smiling in his face. I'm celebrating at the fact that I was on top, that I had overcome him and now he was helpless to my whims. That is a way of torture to the ego.

The idea is so amusing that I find myself laughing slightly out loud about the entire idea all the way until I'm standing on my own doorstep unlocking the door and letting myself in. I noticed the car in front that could only belong to Kakashi, my father's personal assistant who must have escorted the one I need to entertain for that important client.

I hear his voice from the living room, talking to the other person, "It will be a nice stay don't worry, sometimes they can be sort of cold but the Uchia are respectable people and will become warmer people the more you are around them."

What a joke Kakashi. Do you want me to dress like a cheerleader and jump around for the guy while I'm at it? Then you could really call me an entertainer, my name could be "Dark desires" or maybe "Candy" a picture of that blared in my head. I shook it out, wondering where that thought even came from and glad that no one else could see what I thought.

"Sasuke! Come meet your new guest." Kakashi said, I stalled rebelling a bit. But not only that, I had this feeling. This inkling that the person was someone I knew very well. Rounding the corner only confirmed my thoughts. There sitting on my couch was no other than the King himself.

Naruto Uzumaki.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo! Another chapter! PLZ REVIEW AND ALSO MANY THANKS TO THOSE WHO HAVE AND ALSO FAVORITES AND STUFF~! yeah...I need more sleep XD**

**Chapter Two: I Love Him**

To be honest, I was sort of expecting this from the get-go because that's just the way the wheel of my life is turning these days. I'm running into him everywhere in unavoidable situations. Kakashi sensed the pause between us, and continued to politely address Naruto, "I will leave you two now, please let me know if you have any problems or issues."

I thought for a brief second that Naruto was going to say something; he seemed as if there was something on the tip of his tongue he wished to express being held back by something I didn't know of. Naruto doesn't just dislike me, he is also sort of afraid of me I think or at least of being alone with me. Back in elementary school I always picked on him; I loved to pick on him. But one day it turned from harmless teasing to brutal beatings, well I really shouldn't say one day it was really the week after my mother died. When that happened.

I wonder what would have happened if she never died, would I be okay now. Would Naruto and I be able to function normally in a relationship even as more than friends? That's right, in elementary I thought of Naruto as some boys think of a cute little girl, Naruto was my cute little girl. Wow, that's funny to think of.

The thought of seeing Naruto as attractive sent a shudder down my spine and raised goose bumps on my arms. I shook the thoughts from my head, pushing them away and into a box contained in the depths in my mind.

"Do you know where your room is?" I asked him, he didn't reply right away. This guy is just as lost as I am in this situation. He nodded that, yes, he did know where his room was. Good, that means I can get dinner over with and escape to my room.

I don't know where Naruto went or what he was doing. I just focused on chopping, slicing and peeling to make the salad I have been craving all day. Idiot in there better like this, because I refuse to cook anything else for him and I have already sliced my finger a few hundred times, you either like what I give you are you starve hear me Naruto? Suddenly Father's image loomed above me in my mind and I was reminded that I am the one in the weak position here. If Naruto even makes one complaint about his stay here….I have no idea what will happen to me.

I fixed Naruto's plate with a glass of water at the table, setting out different dressings for him to choose from. Then I called him, it's nice having high ceilings sometimes, it makes for a good echo. Naruto's feet pounded noisily down the stairs. He took a look at the dinner, the small smile that was present on his face falling with disappointment. "Salad? Who eats salad?"

"I eat salad." I stated, feeling more than slightly irritated the cuts on my fingers screamed in rage to, reminding me of my hard work. It's harder than people think to make a perfect salad you know? Naruto stared at the food on the plate, and then glanced at me. There was an awkward pause, his hand reached behind his head scratching his blonde hair. His lower lip was captured by his teeth as he pondered.

My heart squeezed in my chest with mix emotions; this is going to be harder than I anticipated.

"Well…do you have any…cup ramen?" Naruto asked, pouncing on his feet. It's going to be harder than he anticipated things to be for him too huh?

"No." I answered; there was another pause as Naruto seemed to be thinking of more options. My stomach lightly protested just standing here when there was a perfectly delectable salad sitting on the table near me. "How about you just look for food in the kitchen, if you find something you need me to cook you can get me in my room. It's the room next to yours. Don't touch the stove, don't even touch the microwave."

"Alright.", Naruto nodded along, I'm glad he is an idiot; it makes him so agreeable sometimes. I started toward the stairs, picking up Naruto's salad for my own meal. But he called after me, "Hey Sasuke!" I turned, my irritation bubbling over, he stuttered around for a second before regaining his composure, "I'm surprised, I thought you would have killed me by now."

"Yeah." I said, "Well I'm surprised I haven't killed you yet."

Those words hit him like a brick, and I slid up the stairs with a satisfied feeling. My fingers seemed to calm down as well. I'm going to enjoy every bit of this salad.

There was no knock on the door from Naruto after I finished my salad. Not even in the 30 minutes I spent looking for more new music on my laptop did he knock. "MEOW~!" the cat announced its presence, hopping onto my desk and licking the plate, enjoying the leftover dressing from the salad. "What are you doing in here? Hey, stupid cat your food is downstairs in the kitchen area. Oh well, at least someone appreciates my cooking."

"MEOW" the cat replied, licking its lips and purring for no particular reason, his unique black eyes watching me back with interest. "Why are you so loud, you're just as loud as that one." The cat didn't reply to this, instead it sat on my desk and licked its paws; I watched it until it finished and started sniffing the plate again.

There was still no knock on the door.

"Fine. I'll take you to your food since you're too stupid to find it yourself. " I picked up the cat, whose tongue sanded the skin on my fingers raw. Stupid cat. When I made it to the kitchen I found Naruto eating sandwiches he watched me set down the cat, which happily began to eat.

"You have a cat?" He questioned, I frowned, ignoring his question as I fixed the jars left uncapped, and cleaned the counters of crumbs. "Did you hear me?"

"I heard you. It's not my cat; it's just a cat that kept getting in the house somehow so I decided not to bother getting rid of it." I explained, remembering all the chasing I did when it first started appearing around the house. I should have just killed the damn thing.

"So it doesn't even have a name?" Naruto questioned more, I sighed hopefully expressing my disinterest in communicating with him. He didn't get it, "Well he is a black cat, maybe he could be named I don't know, Darky?"

Dark Desires, my idea of a good "entertainer" name from earlier popped in my head. I shook it out of my mind, "I'm not naming the stupid cat, and if I was going to name it I wouldn't name it something as stupid as that. Who even comes up with a name like that? Why wouldn't you suggest something like Midnight or I don't know, Lucky?"

"So you've thought of names?" Naruto exclaimed, my frustration rose as I processed those words.

"No! It's just common sense to name a black cat those things!" I defended. To be honest I did think about it one day, but it had nothing to do with naming the cat it was more about curing my boredom. Before Naruto could reply, we heard the door swing open. Itachi was still here?

"What are you still doing here?" I questioned as soon as Itachi entered the kitchen, he was probably looking for a salad himself.

"I took some days off work." Itachi said, meaning that he came close to getting fired again and was sent home by father as punishment. But even then there was no telling that he would actually come home in that event, he usually goes somewhere else. "Did you make any food?"

"None that you can have. I didn't know you were here." Itachi nodded at this information, everyone is nodding today. Naruto stood awkwardly to the side, unsure of what to say or do. "This is Naruto, a client's son. Be nice to him."

"Hello." Itachi greeted Naruto, he wasn't bothering to cover up his act any either huh? Normally we would put on a bit of an act but with Naruto it feels somehow as if it doesn't matter what we do. "My name is Itachi, Sasuke's older brother."

"Hi." Naruto said, he was being unusually quiet. He's not really the shy type. Perhaps its Itachi's intimidation, I'm used to it so I forget that it still affects others. Itachi decides not to stick around; instead he left the house again to find food in a different place. Maybe he won't come home tonight. "I never knew you had a brother.''

"No one does." I replied, resuming may task of cleaning Naruto's horrible mess. He must have a maid; my father doesn't want to hire help. Why would he when he has me to clean for him? It builds character he says, character my ass he is just incredibly cheap. Or maybe it's just another way of making me fill in for mom, like setting out his clothes or keeping his room clean.

I don't want to think about that.

Though I do think to myself that I sound like freaking Cinderella, which infuriates me because the last thing I want to be associated with is a Disney princess. Naruto looks around a bit more, watching me clean as he finished off the rest of his meal, making more of a mess, before breaking the silence once again. "Is it always like this?"

"Like what?" Clean, respectable, maybe I don't know CLEAN? I don't feel like I can turn my back on this guy for a second without having a mess to clean later.

"Empty." Naruto said, his eyes roaming my house. It was the one thing I hoped he wouldn't say. How pathetic does that sound? How stupid. I squeeze the towel in my hand a bit more while trying to control my temper, but how can I? I don't want any pity, I don't want to hear any concern, and I don't want anything like that at all. What do I do if he gives it to me? It's not like I can fight him too hard can I?

The cleaner from the rag I'm using stings my fingers, and I let out a hiss. Naruto comes closer, taking my fingers in his hands. They are soft, my mind whispers and I have to keep myself from shuddering at his close proximity. "You have cuts on your fingers?"

"F-From making your salad, well my salad." I pulled my hand away, noticeable surprising Naruto. Holy crap, get it together Sasuke. Those feelings, how sick are you to have those feelings? It probably has nothing to do with him at all, it was just the touch. I don't get touched.

"I'm going to bed now, lock the door and make sure to keep your room as clean as possible. There is this neat invention called a clothes hamper, where you put clothes that are dirty. And also this neat thing called a shower curtain; it keeps water in the tub. Don't use my shampoo, that's all I have to say." Then I ran up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me and falling onto my bed.

This is exhausting.

If I thought yesterday was exhausting, I was clearly not prepared for today. Rumors were spinning around the rumor mill as news that Naruto and I were currently living in the same house. The guy is either a big mouth or a movie star with tons of stalkers.

No one bothered me though, but they continued to whisper around me as if I was deaf, no offense to the kid signing to his friend next to me in class. However there was something about their whispers, something about their looks that made me feel small. I do not like feeling small. I am not small. Instantly I straightened up, turning to glare at some random people to my left. They coward and scattered like fly's do when you swat them.

Of all things to be called a maid, how degrading is that?

Naruto is a guest, IN MY HOUSE. He is someone who has the very special pleasure of entering my home, an expensive home about twice the cost of anything they have ever seen. So what the hell is there problem! What the hell should I do? Shaking with anger by the time lunch rolled around, I didn't hesitate to grab a water bottle from the school cafeteria and head straight for Naruto and his friends.

Screw Naruto, so what if he complains. Screw my dad, I hate him anyway. Screw any sort of life I might have, I don't have much to lose.

When I walked up they were talking and laughing about something, I heard something about "Sasuke's house." And all hell broke loose. "What about my house?"

Everyone froze; Naruto looked up at me with wide eyes. "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? What's wrong? I feel pathetic. I feel under privileged. I feel disrespected. Why? Because of you, because of your people who seem to come up with their own ideas and treat them like they are absolute fact. Without an ounce of guilt or hesitation, I opened the water bottle and poured it all over his head.

"What the hell Sasuke!" The one called Kiba roared, I glared him down pack into his seat, throwing the bottle at Naruto's head and walked away before I dragged him outside and beat the living shit out of him. Or at least have a good old fashion fight. Where I beat the living shit of him, and make him go down a million IQ points if he even has IQ points to being with.

I feel satisfied.


	3. Chapter 3:I want to Kill Him

**Wow these are being posted fast, well to be honest I'm already into like chapter 5 but I dont want to publish to many at once, plus i get to review it more. A good thing because I often write these with little or no sleep so my grammar sucks ass. Thanks to all who correct me! Lots of love for you guess, both in reviews and in person! Have a good day and dont forget, REVIEW MORE PLZZZ!AND THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE (not very many but still ;) Numbers don't count...well they do..well actually its not really the numbers that do the counting...but thats not what i meant! OH WELL JUST READ I NEED A NAP! **

**Chapter Three: I want to Kill Him**

I arrived to my house first. Still no call from my father, no problems from the school either and everything remains eerily silent. If the Idiot King of Rumors wants to play one on one then let's play. I head toward the kitchen; a note from Itachi is place on the empty surface of the fridge letting me know that he would be joining in on dinner today. I hope Itachi likes noodles, because that's all I'm cooking. Three pots were boiling at once under my watchful gaze, "MEOW~!" the cat purred, rubbing against my legs. I didn't pay attention to it today; stupid cat doesn't understand my situation.

From here on out I can either be royally fucked or semi-screwed.

"MEOW~!" the cat calls, begging for my gaze, my attention anything to make sure that I know it's there. I granted it's wish, staring down at him as he pressed up against my leg, "Me and you are both a lot alike cat. We are both pathetic."

"MEOW~!" The cat sang, didn't it understand what I just said? Didn't it understand what was so wrong with it? My heart sank in my chest as I realized that despite my satisfaction gained from previous actions I was once again like the cat, pathetic and happy about it. How desperate must I have seemed to cause a scene like that? How pathetic does that look to the outside world? What about Naruto? What kind of coward do I seem to him?

I groaned, running my hands through my hair. What a fool I made myself out to be today.

The door opened suddenly, it seems to be the only way people enter this house these days. Naruto walked in followed by two of his friends Kiba and the other guy named Gaara I believe. Great where they going to tag team me in my own house? I leaned on the counter waiting for some sort of recognition, just like the stupid cat again.

"Sasuke." Naruto started, I avoided his gaze silently picking up a nearby bag of noodles, ripping open the seal and pouring its contents into the first pot. It's been a very long time since I cooked anything like this. "I know why you were mad; it was because of the maid thing right? You know I had nothing to do with it right?"

I didn't answer; his friends were staring at me as I emptied more noodles into the pots. Small beads of sweat littered my forehead and I pondered just how to go about this. In this case one says I'm sorry, but that's something I'm just not good at. I regarded Naruto with a cold look, why wouldn't I be mad about the maid thing? Why wouldn't I get upset at him for it? But that's the price one pays when they have to communicate with idiots, misunderstandings. "Then control your people better and take some responsibility."

Naruto's eyes widened, his face turning red with anger, "HEY THAT'S NOT EVEN FAIR SASUKE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CONTROL PEOPLE?"

His screaming didn't have any effect on my glare; instead I felt my piercing stair intensify with anger. Naruto pointed at me dumbly, "What did I do to deserve that kind of look, it's not like I told people you are my maid Sasuke. They just came up with that somewhere along the way, and you expect me to catch it as soon as it happens?"

"Yes I do! Because people will listen to you not me Naruto." I replied, his friends are making me feel uncomfortable. Why do I have to feel so uncomfortable in my own house? Not that I am ever able to relax in this house, still it's better than this. One of the pots was boiling over, I hurriedly started to stir, "Now either get your friends out of here or go somewhere else with them."

"Kiba." Gaara sooth low voice intervened, ignoring anything I just said, or maybe in response to what I just said, "We should go and leave these two alone, I think everything will be fine."

"I don't know about that." Kiba said looking from me to Naruto and back again, "We should stay here."

"Kiba." Gaara seemed to warn, Kiba looked around at all of us again before slowly standing and walking out of the room with Gaara. "Bye Naruto." They both called, behind them. I listened to the door close, shutting them out of this private matter, leaving us alone in total silence as I stirred and maintained dinner.

Resisting the urge to punch him in the face at this moment was the hardest thing, but the last thing I needed was any physical violence to top off the nice cake of screwed I've baked for myself, "Dinner will be ready soon. It's just noodles, you figure out what you're going to do with it."

Naruto remained silent and watched me cook, it was honestly very awkward. His stare was bothering; I could feel his eyes tracing me. The sentence of thought made my face burn slightly. I did my best not to look up, I don't want him to see my blush of all things, and no one has ever seen that. "Sasuke." I jumped, when did he get there? He had moved from just a few feet away to just an inch, his blue eyes scanned my face with interest, more than likely my reaction of all the embarrassing things that could possibly happen. "Are you okay?"

"Shut-up and mind your own business." Damn. Pull it together. Don't be so disgusting. Apologize for earlier, before you get in trouble, "I mean….leave me alone."

I turned off all the knobs of the stove in panic, neglecting to drain the noodles, and ran up the stairs to my room. Ah, fuck. I hate apologizes, it means you were wrong. I am never wrong. But this time I did fuck up, but to apologize to Naruto. The person who I used to beat at everything, the person who randomly just one day found a calling that pushed him above me in all things, why would I ever apologize to someone who will always be a dead last?

On the other hand Naruto is my dad's client, a guest in this house, and I do act like his maid don't I? Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of things for him. A servant in my own home, the most pathetic thing I have ever thought of in the world. But still, master of the house or not, I needed to fix this. How do I apologize? How does someone apologize? Damn. "Sasuke? Where are your noodle draining things?"

Man, this idiot. Wait. Noodles. Ramen. Idiot. That's it! I am a genius. I whipped the door open, startling Naruto who fell back and hit his head on the wall behind him. "Do you want to go get your ramen?"

"Huh?" Naruto wittingly replied, the smiled up at me as he clutched his head, "Ramen? We are going to get ramen?"

"Are you deaf now to?" I sighed, distracting this kid is easy and difficult at the same time, I repeated what I said in a slow manner so that maybe he could get it, "We are getting cup ramen for us to eat for dinner…. Get it now?"

"Yeah! Let's go get ramen!" Naruto scrambled down the stairs, I could hear his feet thumping and it was just as simple as that, everything for the moment has been forgotten and I can now undo everything that has been done…sort of. "Sasuke! Come on! I'll drive us there!"

Oh that's right; Mr. Idiot King has a car. It's not that I can't have a car, I just don't want one. What would be the point? What would I do with it? But I can say that if I did get a car, it wouldn't be as ridiculous as this crap, no wait this Idiocy. Naruto's car is a convertible, bright blinding orange and is annoying as hell, I don't know the make of the car but it's probably higher end considering that his dad must be an important client to my father (A.K.A no poor people are important= dad's world). "COME ON SASUKE! YOU'RE BEING SO SLOW!"

Oh sure I'm the slow one here, what a joke. As I passed by the kitchen I couldn't help but wonder what's going to happen to all the noodles I cooked? Oh well, Itachi can eat it for all I care. It looks like I'm going to be eating crap for dinner myself so why not him? A small part of my brain is screaming at me not to let this idiot drive me anywhere, because the result would more than likely result in my death. But it's like I said earlier, screw life I don't have much of one anyway. What do I do? Sit around being pathetic and not being able to really do anything about it. Dealing with my stupid father, why? To live? For what? Dead last here showed me up a long time ago and everything else pretty much sucks, people hate me and the world is horrible.

Blah, blah, blah, I get it already I'm the emo bitch.

Let's get off my whining and get on to someone else's life, normally I don't do this but considering my circumstances I have no other choice, "So Naruto, why are you staying with me?"

"Huh, well…." Naruto started, as he pulled out of the driveway, "My Dad is dead now. So they are looking for my Grandparents who are in the middle of a trip around the world, or I should say that your dad is looking for them."

Talk about a bit of a killer story to make me feel some small twinge of guilt, but it was replaced by nothing but a mere bit of doubt. Oh by the way just so you know my dad happens to be a type of lawyer with high paying clients, for some reason though he always likes handling these sort of things for no particular reason. But maybe this is just something every lawyer does and I just don't know it. Coming back onto the subject of Naruto, why isn't he more upset about his dad's death? Shouldn't he be crying? Or I don't know? Angry, like I was when mom died. But maybe I can't say much about it; after all if my dad died I would probably be more happy than sad. If he were to die, it would be more freeing than anything I could possibly experience. "Sorry for your loss."

"Yeah well, his funeral is Thursday…"Naruto got very quiet then, but soon snapped out of it and turned to me grinning. "What kinds of ramen do you like Sasuke? I like Miso the most; of course every kind of ramen is pretty good. Oh wait not spicy though, I really don't like anything spicy."

Man this idiot sure can talk. But I don't mind because it keeps me from having to talk too much, on the other hand it's also very annoying to a point because he changes topics so quickly. By the time we pulled up to our destination we had gone from his dad to which is a better pick, pornographic calendars or magazines. I found the entire last topic very irritating, and cut him off mid-sentence as I exited the car, slamming the door for extra emphasis. "Come on Sasuke what kind do you like? Do you have a favorite type of girl?"

"No." I replied, you're supposed to be apologizing remember that Sasuke, not slaughtering. "I don't have any interest in such disgusting things."

"Disgusting? Do you not like girls?" I halted in the middle of the parking lot, a car behind me honked with frustration; I flipped them off and turned to Naruto.

"I do not like men, and I will never ever like men. Understand?" I spit, he stayed silent as my pace outran his. The car was now continuously honking behind him. So what? Just because I'm not into a bunch of posing naked chicks in a magazine makes me gay? Who knows maybe I just like dating the real thing. I tried to reassure myself that what I just asked myself rhetorically didn't at all contradict and that everything is fine. You know what I just might be asexual? And that elementary crush on Naruto? Nothing, just curiosity, or maybe its because he does kind of look like a girl sometimes, and he has really cutesy expressions. Like when he bites his lip to think, or when he is pouting. Those are cutesy expressions of his. But no matter what there is no way I am or ever will be a homo.

"Hey, Sasuke! What's your problem?" Naruto called behind me, I waited for him by the entrance of the supermarket, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Hn." Why waste my breath on this idiot, will he even understand me if I actually explain it? What's your problem Sasuke? Hey Sasuke what's your problem? Woah, what's your deal Sasuke? My deal is that I want you to shove all of your repetitive questions up your ass until you choke on it.

"What are you laughing about?" Naruto questioned as he cruised alongside me, ridding the cart, as I scanned for the aisle we were looking for. He's so childish, doing everything a kid would do.

"Nothing of importance." I replied, making him pout. What did I say, cutesy. He decided to fill the entire cart with ramen; well actually he put about 600 things of ramen in the cart, that's around 474 dollars of ramen. "Naruto you better eat all of this."

"Are you kidding me! This is only about a week's worth!" Naruto exclaimed, I wanted to face palm, but didn't have the energy after I thought about my father questioning the pantry on Saturday. He doesn't want us to eat those types of foods so much, or at least me, Itachi isn't so easy to control. Wait, did I just imply that I am easy to control? Since when was I so down on myself? Ugh, man this is depressing.

"Whatever, let's get out of here and go back to the house.'" I shrugged, not bothering to point out that eating this much can't be healthy for you. On the other hand maybe this is just him in mourning and I don't realize it. Either way, it's completely crazy.

"Come on. How come you don't just say home Sasuke?" Naruto bothered again, why is he always so bothering? Oh wait, I forgot he's an idiot. "You act like you don't live there sometimes, more like you work there."

I do work there, but I don't have the heart, or rather I do have the heart, not to put myself down so obviously. "Just mind your own business, why are you so bad with minding your own business? Do you do this with everyone? How can you do this with everyone and be so likable?"

"Do you think I am likable Sasuke?" I felt my eyes slightly widen at the question, I turned to face him only to be blinded by a smile. One I have never seen him wear before. "I always thought you don't like me."

"I don't." I said, watching that smile fade away into a glare-pout combo.

He soon replied, "Well I don't question everyone. Just you Sasuke, because I want to know more about you. I have always wanted to know more about you, because I always think about you."

They were simple words; there was no need to complicate them. But why does my stupid heart feel the need to? Why do my ears hear honeyed words and not what might just be curiosity? And more importantly why do they care? There was a brief pause and a slight blush tinted his cheeks, idiot must have realized what I did minutes ago, "Uh, when I said that I didn't mean anything by it. I just…uh…it was a slip of the tongue. Its cause you always…!"

"Stop talking already! I get it; I never even thought you meant anything by it not for a second." I replied, cutting off his rushed words. I would be pretty embarrassed to if I said something like that. Surprisingly forgiving to the bastard today aren't I? I mean if someone hates you and you have no idea why, wouldn't you think of them to? I do that with Itachi to be honest. I wonder sometimes why he is so cold to me now and they only way I know how to respond to it is to act the same way. "Let's just get out of here."

"Well that's good!" Naruto continued while we were in line, "Because I actually like Sakura, I don't want there to be any misunderstandings."

You mean the pink bitch? You mean you like the pink bitch? Seriously! I wanted to throw up, but held it in for the sake of cleanliness. "I don't really care Naruto, I'm hungry let's just hurry!"

"Yeah same here!" Naruto exclaimed going with it, thank god. "Let's GO!"

And we did, I went to the house with Naruto, stuffed my face with crap ramen, and then felling completely exhausted, went to sleep in peace with the cat's sandpaper tongue scratching my face.

Stupid cat.


	4. Chapter 4: I want to Tell Him

**YAY! Another one! Don't worry this FanFic is like 18 chapters. You guys still have a long way to go!**

**Chapter Four: I want to Tell Him**

Today is the day of Naruto's dad's funeral. It turns out I am coming too, orders from father of all people since he supposedly can't go himself because of meetings and court dates. Though I highly doubt that's the reason, it has more to do with the fact that mom is buried there I'm sure. He won't even drive past that place.

I helped Naruto with his tie, he was quiet today. Spacing out without any life reaching his eyes.

There is something to losing a family no matter how it's lost. It's like shattering a thousand dreams, leaving a person surrounded by pieces of an image you used to know and the idea that things that were meant to be will never be. That the crystals littering the ground are someone you thought you were. And every time you, as the person, takes a step, you are cut, scarred with the memory that nothing will ever be quite so whole again even if you manage to glue it all back in place.

So watching Naruto get ready for his father's funeral, I understood his silence. I understood the uncertainty in his heart. Where will he go? How will he live? And that he is dealing with the idea that his parents will never really be there physically. Though if you ask someone as cynical as me I have to say they won't be there at all.

But I'm not going to tell that to him.

I'm going to tell him what I want to tell him, pipe dreams. That everything is going to be alright, even though they are never going to be the same. It's what people said to me, and it made me feel better then.

But that was before that happened, and now we are here and I'm like this.

But who knows, maybe for other people, ones who are different from me, it is true. And they can form new glass to look in. Wouldn't that be something? Creating new dreams for myself, I wonder where I would even begin.

I was too worried to have Naruto drive, so I asked Father to hire someone to pick us up instead. Well not that I was worried for him, I mean, it's because I would be with him in the car and the last thing I need is to die. Well. Maybe not, maybe that's the first thing I need, but it…Its complicated let's just leave why out of the loop this time.

The drive to the cemetery is just as silent, it's like drowning in your own thoughts and here I thought silence was the only thing I could have ever needed. Turns out I'm wrong. All I can think of is the shudder that crawls down Naruto's spine as we near the cemetery. The thing about cemeteries is that while some people see them as creepy or sad, I find them interesting. It's almost a thrill for me to go there, because it's amazing me to think that every head stone represents a life spent on earth. People who breathed once as I do, and walked along the lines of the Earth as I do are buried in the Earth that I stand on while they are long gone to somewhere I don't know of. And what about them? Is everyone who ever loved those countless souls dead now? Or are there flowers on their graves still? When I die, I want at least some cheap flowers or something for my gravestone to be placed there every year, because then someone will have to question eventually when all those who know me are gone, or I should say all those who know of me, and then maybe they will make up things of my life that are way better than how it really was or is I guess. Maybe that will be the only way I will ever get to truly live at all.

Funerals are awkward for me, but this one is especially challenging. Naruto and his friends are here, a few of his dad's friends, and others who I am unsure of but out of them all I feel eyes on me with mouths attached to them whispering, "Why is he here?"

I think one of those mouths belongs to pink bitch, I imagine her getting run over by a bulldozer for slight entertainment because the last thing I need to do in this situation is laugh. Later I will be more creative with my imaginary murder adventures but this isn't the time. Naruto disappears within the service's crowd as the casket is being lowered into the Earth, surrounded my condolences of people he knows. I hear footsteps clacking up to me as I stand farther away in the parking lot area practicing the forgotten art of minding my own business, oh god communication. Who knew I would have to do it so much today.

"What are you doing here, Sasuke?" Oh great, Pink Bitch. Now that's just the person I wanted to see, I wonder if could create a death at a funeral? Let's try it out.

"I'm here to prance around and throw flowers. Why else would I be here?" I replied, she sent me a questioning look so I explained it for her, "This isn't a wedding for casual talk with strangers, and I'm not some stupid flower girl who needs directing. Leave me the hell alone."

To my surprise she did, and wondered in to speak with the crowd, why even talk to me in the first place? I thought people just decided for themselves about the why behind everything I do.

Deciding to get away for a bit, I wondered over to my mother's grave just a few feet over. There was a figure that was oddly familiar sitting near her grave wearing a suit similar to mine, all black with light pinstripes. It was our mom's favorite design so we wear it often, or should I say every time the opportunity calls. "What are you doing here Itachi?"

"Father wanted me to come with you, but I decided to visit mom instead." He replied without looking up, I sat down on the ground next to him and looked at the stone that honored my mother. It was bigger than most, with marble stone and healthy roses decorating most of her grave. Probably sent impersonally from father, does father's assistant ever wonder just who she was or what she did in life as he puts flowers on her grave? No. Probably not, but I do. I wonder what she would do now, and I imagine all the time what it would be like if she didn't pass on while I was still in the ripe age of ten, just about to be eleven in my last year of elementary school.

"As rebellious as ever." I replied, he nodded still not making eye contact. It bothered me now more than it ever had, and the question escaped my lips begging to be taken back, "Why do you never look at me? You always look around me its irritating."

It's too late to take it back; I've already started something I never wanted to jump into. If he hates me I don't want to know the reason. If he is disgusted by me…that's something I don't want to know even more. Why would he be disgusted, I don't think he knows about that? If he did he would have said something right? But life had something for me of course, "I know about what happened. After she died, I know what happened between you and father."

I was stunned into silence; I thought that I was the only one who knew other than dad. But most of the time I think he doesn't know, I think he might believe that it's something he made up a long time ago that didn't really happen. Itachi continued on, "I was there. I had to go to the bathroom, and in the middle of passing your room at the time, I heard noises."

"Stop." I said, raising my voice just a bit above normal, but not quite a scream or yell. Itachi listened to me, but I noticed him glancing at my face. "I don't want to know the details.''

"Does it happen anymore? Has it happened since then?" Itachi asked, I remained silent for a while staring at my mother's grave.

"No. That only happened once." I replied, my voice is dry, or at least sounds dry. "Now he just gets violent sometimes, but he's very controlling because he wants us to be healthy. Or at least that's what he says."

It seemed as if Itachi had more to say, but I stood up from the grave and nearly ran back to the crowd. My heart pounded and my eyes burned. Damn people. Damn Itachi. This isn't my funeral to cry at. It's a good thing I leave when I do because Naruto is looking for me so he can leave. I don't know how I know that, maybe it's the way he's pacing around, shaking his head back and forth looking for me. Maybe that's what it is, the fact that he looks like a panicked swimmer drowning in the ocean with no beach near to stand on.

Mom's funeral was longer than this one, we had an open casket thing in the funeral home, a drive to the cemetery, then the burial, then we went home and that whole process was long and grueling. This funeral was quicker, with the service and the burial all in one place.

I grab Naruto's arm as I pull him toward the car. He doesn't protest because for once I'm giving him just what he wants without any reasoning that he knows of. But when we sat in the car, side by side, he must have noticed something about me because he is looking at me with a bit of interest and for the first time he talks. "What's wrong?"

I want to tell him to mind his own business. I want to tell him to go shove it. I want to tell him not to think about me and just cry like he wants to do, be selfish Naruto just this once.

But I don't. Instead I find myself leaning against his shoulder and falling asleep. He must think it's a bit strange for me to do, but none the less I feel his head on top of mine and we sleep the whole way back to the house in that position. I have a dream that I am listening to nothing but the pound of my heart, and with that sound somehow I know everything I want and just how to get it. But it turns out that it wasn't a dream it was reality and I feel stupid crawling out of the car with this idea that my heart knows what I want. It knows what I need. That's ridiculous.

I was just feeling.

Once inside, Naruto decides to make some ramen for both of us and I don't complain because it turns out that crap really isn't that bad to eat. The normalcy of it kind of lessened the problems from earlier with Itachi. When I was the only one who knew it was much easier to live with myself, but now I feel worse than crap, I feel like an idiot. I'm sick and disgusting. "Sasuke? Are you okay?" Naruto rings again, and I shudder with the realization that he actually seems more concerned with me than himself.

"Focus on yourself Naruto. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question? Shouldn't I be worried about you?" I replied, stabbing the noodles with slight irritation. He continued to stare at me with concern, and eventually I had to look up and meet his gaze.

"I'm all out of tears now." Naruto replied when I didn't continue to speak, "My dad was sick for a long time though, so somehow I was always preparing myself for the day of his death. Now that it's here, I wonder if I'm being insensitive because it must seem to other people that I really don't care."

"My mom was sick too." I replied. I'm a jerk if I say this right? But I do anyway, "I understand what you mean to a degree, but I don't think you can't cry about it. I just think that you don't want to. It doesn't make you a bad person."

We continue our meal in silence, well almost. "MEOW~!" the cat cried repeatedly under our feet. Naruto wasn't eating that much, his cup is full. Its hitting him now isn't it? That all of this is real and his father won't be coming back. Deciding not to comment on the subject, I decide to talk to the cat instead.

"I'll feed you after this okay?" I told it, it responded by jumping on the table, "Get off stupid cat." I threatened without really doing anything. The cat can eat my noodles for all I care; I'm not really that hungry anyway.

"We should really name it." Naruto commented suddenly, "It's been around long enough. Face it Sasuke, it's your cat."

Great, Naruto is right isn't he? This has become my cat, this stupid cat. But wait, you know who it reminds me of sometimes? "You know what; I'm going to name it Naruto."

Naruto himself, not the cat, blushed slightly. Looking at me wide eyed, "Huh? Why would you name a cat after me?'' Just as he said this the cat slid over, sniffing Naruto for the first time. The cat reached his paw up, swiping Naruto's face with his claws and marking scratch marks on his check. "OW!"

I shot up out of my chair, heading straight for my first aid supplies. Repeating one of those stupid questions Naruto asks me all the time, "Naruto, why would you scratch Naruto?"

"His name can't be Naruto, Sasuke!" Naruto roared, the cat hissed in reply apparently liking its name. Stupid cat, stupid Naruto, don't they fit together? I rushed over, putting on whatever says keeps away infection and literally slapping a Band-Aid on his face. "OW! Why do you and the cat hurt me? We should name the cat Sasuke!"

"Hey Naruto, do you want to be named Sasuke?" I asked the cat, leaning down and looking into its eyes. It pressed its head against my cheek and purred.

"See, the cat likes you. We should name it after you." Naruto commented, I glared at him but he continued to laugh. Look at him, all of sudden he wants to act like normal now? For some reason this doesn't irritate me, it fills me with a feeling I am unfamiliar with. A happy feeling spilled into my chest, enough to make me smile a bit. This guy is crazy stupid.

"Fine. Let's just call it a combination." I suggested. "Combine our names or something."

"Fine. I bet I come up with the better name!" Naruto exclaimed, declaring a contest. "How about Sasuke? Oh wait a combination. Ok, what about Sasuto?"

"Hn. Try Naruke. What about Naruke?" I suggested, realizing that he put my name first in an attempt to put me down.

Naruto frowned, "Nasuke." Great now he thinks he can fool me by just replacing the first letter of my name with his name's first letter .

"Then why don't we just name the damn cat, Saruto?" I replied, glaring at him. I know what game you're trying to play here.

"Narsuke." Naruto suggested, "It's an equal part of both of our names. Or what about Sasunaru? That's equal to."

"Then why does my name come first, not Narusasu?" Well actually I think my name first sounds better to be honest. If I want to be on top of Naruto, this will probably be the only way I can do it. "Actually out of all of those, I think I like Saruto the most. "

"Really?" Naruto glared, "You honestly like that name and not because it would make me lose?"

"No. That's just an added bonus, I genuinely like the name." I replied, I really do like the name Saruto. I'm not messing with Naruto this time, "Besides when the name starts with an S it defiantly sounds better than N."

Naruto glared at me as he realized what my implied insult was, "Fine. We'll name the cat Saruto."

"I didn't realize I had to clarify naming my cat with you." I said, feeling a smile pull at my face. It seemed to surprise Naruto, who smiled back at me.

"Let's do something." Naruto said suddenly, jumping around in his seat as I picked up Saruto and put him on the ground, "Something awesome."

"Why don't you just call your friends?" I suggested, he really doesn't hang out with them outside of school from what I have observed so far. His faces feel into a pout at the suggestion. Him and his cutesy gestures drive me nuts.

"Well…I wanted to hang out with you. Maybe go to the movies or something!" Naruto exclaimed, re-claiming his vigor. Is he avoiding them right now? Is it because of the funeral? Did something happen that I missed? Either way, I decided to continue the art of minding my own business and played along.

"Sure. Just don't be overly loud and obnoxious." About 30 minutes later, I realized how right on my sarcastic warning was. Naruto is very loud and very obnoxious.

"Yeah! HIT HIM! OH COME ON!" Many irritated people turned in their seats to glare at us, but Naruto didn't seem to notice. I wanted to die with embarrassment, but on the other hand what did I care? These people don't know me anyway, and it was honestly kind of funny to realize just how oblivious Naruto is. I mean look at him, he's sitting the whooping and hollering, without realizing that he's causing problems for other people. But it didn't end there.

With Naruto it was one adventure after another, after the Movies we went to the mall and made fun of people walking by, though Naruto did eventually get threatened and we decided to run instead of fight. Then after that we made a trip to the bookstore, where we had a mini fight in one of the aisles with a few long shaped books and were politely asked to leave. After that we went to the grocery store so I could pick up a few things, but ended up having a cart race contest. Even though all of these things were ridiculous, stupid, completely insane, it was actually pretty entertaining. I was even more amazed at the fact that Naruto could draw me into doing these activities without doing much pushing; I realized that I wanted to do them. I realized that I wanted to have fun with Naruto.

But I will never in my life admit that.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked Naruto, pretending to be very bored. I wasn't actually; just sitting in the car with him was entertaining me enough.

"Me? I want to eat! I'm so hungry!" He said firing up the car, an image of the full ramen cup flashed in my head. "Let's go out to eat! How about…there!"

He pulled into a really nice restaurant, and suddenly I was thankful that I never really changed from the funeral clothes, except for taking off the jacket. Naruto was dressed pretty much the same way, though I didn't realize that his dress shirt was an orange color. But it was his funeral to, so he could wear whatever he wanted. I have a feeling today he didn't just bury his father that he stuck something of himself inside that coffin and now wants to forget that he ever lost it.

We walked into the nice restaurant; all of a sudden we acted more mature than we had been acting all day and sat down like polite gentlemen. But as soon as the waiter turned his back, Naruto's immaturity came back to the table. "You know Sasuke, I always thought that you were a real bastard, but now that I know you, I think you are just looking for attention."

"Looking for attention? What the hell are you talking about?" I glared, he better be grateful that I don't feel like embarrassing myself in this place because father would kill me.

"Yes you are." Naruto simply said, the waiter came back bringing our drinks with him. I sipped my water thinking. Attention? I'm not some little brat. What the hell is Naruto talking about? I don't think I'm attention seeking, am I? Do I want attention? Ah crap that's to disgusting to think about. But he still continued on, "But that's what I think, because I used to kind of be that way when I was younger, you know…"

He didn't finish but I knew that he was referring to middle school, when I bullied him in the worst ways possible turning him into an outcast temporarily until he hit the gym and became popular through this guy literally named Guy and his hyped up friend Lee. I was angry at him, I was disgusted by him, and I was disgusted by my emotions towards him. I noticed that my hands were shaking a little bit and set them firmly against the table, today must have really been picked to shake my nerves.

The rest of the meal was awkwardly silent compared to the rest of the day. My eyes started to feel heavy, and sleep wanted to overtake me. Consume me. And tear me away from this moment; make it so that things that occurred today seemed as if they never happened at all. He examined me after swallowing the last of his meal, mine seemed barely half way completed but I wouldn't mind leaving now. My mouth was on automatic, I wasn't eating out of hunger now I was eating because it's something to do. "Are you alright? You seem different today."

"What did I tell you, stop worrying about me and do something for yourself" I replied before shoving another mouthful of food in my face. I waited for a reply but one never came, and we left in the silence that had befallen us at the beginning of the meal.

My dreams that night were torture, I was reliving every memory I ever had and when I woke up I was sad to say that it wasn't really all that eventful of a life and everything considered eventful was a part of something terrible, out weighing everything that could be held onto as a good memory. I got dressed thinking, 'yesterday I created a little of both didn't I? Isn't that worth something? ' and I considered even more on how absolutely pathetic I must seem. I've never been more humiliated in my lifetime than I was yesterday. I've never been so embarrassed and ashamed.

But that's what I thought this morning, little did I know that there was something in the day looming over me that would whittle me down do the brink of death.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: I want to Thank Him**

I walked into school and felt the very air around me shift. To be honest it was nothing out of the norm. People were talking, people were swarming around buzzing about my supposed latest episode, but the difference was the content. I should be used to it by now shouldn't I? Well I would be if that was the entire problem, but the new rumor going around was that I have somehow enslaved Naruto and put him up to causing trouble yesterday, when I supposedly made him skip school to hang out with me because I have no life or friends because I'm an asshole who likes to torture people.

Was it totally off? In some parts, yes.

Was it completely ridiculous? Yeah.

Should it have bothered me? No.

Why did it bother me then? Because I'm sick of it, I'm sick of being the bad guy okay! Because it's just another reminder of the total crap of a life that I have, because it's just another reminder that every happy memory will always lead into a nightmare. Because….it reminds me that I reap what I sow, and that maybe just maybe I deserve this.

I deserve it.

I deserve everything that's ever happened and worse right? Isn't that the basis of karma? Isn't that the core of life? The thought made my eyes burn, but I knew that I had no right to cry and did my best to hold it in. Man, just one emotional day yesterday is all it takes to make me sensitive huh? Should I talk to Naruto? No. Not this time, it's not his fault and I can't blame him for it anymore. It's my fault this is the sort of person I have created for others to see and I realize that now. I always used to think that it was Naruto himself making up those rumors about me, but now I realize that it was just people going of the person I have created in their minds and the visuals that they see.

I skipped my morning classes, opting to sit around under a tree past the tennis courts instead. People won't be outside because of the rain that fell last night, so I didn't have to worry about anything interrupting my private pity party. They might call my Father though, but there isn't anything he can do to me that's going to matter anymore. The thing about my dad is, when it gets to the point that I no longer care or feel fear, than he loses all the power doesn't he? On the other hand, to be so numb, is that really a good solution? Would it really make me…strong?

My stomach growled, I looked at my phone and realize that it was just 10 minutes till my regular lunch time. I debated about walking in and getting caught, dragged to the office, and glared at by multiple people. A part of my mind screamed that I didn't want those things to happen, the other half said why care. I stood, making my way to the cafeteria and managing to walk in just as the line was almost diminished. Perfect.

I stood in line, no one seemed to see me which made me relieved of course, and just managing to move up a little when a hand gripped my shoulder to spin me around. To say I freaked out would be an understatement, I flinched away covering my face, feeling my eyes burn with the feeling that I was about to cry. Damn, why the hell am I doing this and in a public place of all things. The familiar annoyingly pitched voice spoke to me, "Sasuke?"

Damn it Naruto I don't want to talk to you of all people. "What's wrong?" ah, crap. A sinking feeling fell on me as I didn't answer his question that was filled with a desperate tone, I tortured him just as the rumors implied just by not answering him.

"A-Are you….crying?" Naruto asked, I bit my lip, took a deep breath and prayed that there was no red around my eyes.

"I'm not crying stupid, I'm just incredibly tired and I need to be alone." I replied removing the hands from my face. His blue eyes were spilling over from tears as he stood in front of me; sometimes I forget that we are nearly the same height. "H-Huh, why are you crying idiot! You shouldn't be crying!"

Naruto continued to cry though, catching attention from the people in line and a few people passing by. Great, that's just great. "I don't k-know why I'm crying." Naruto replied wiping his nose, "You started it, and then I couldn't stop it and now….."

But he couldn't continue because someone nearby interrupted, I like how the most popular guy in school can bawl in public and not face any ridicule, that's just perfect. "What did you do to Naruto, Sasuke?"

What did I do to Naruto? Nothing. I did nothing. But in this moment I realized I must look like the worst person in the world. Before I could retort with an amazing sarcastic answer, Naruto interrupted the interrupter, "He didn't do anything! Sasuke never does anything, DON'T ALWAYS BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR!"

Even though he was screaming on top of crying, and he looked incredibly crazy, I still thought it was nice and resisted the urge to thank him in that moment. Who would have ever thought that the one person who hates my guts the most would be so willing to defend me? On the other hand maybe Naruto didn't hate me as much as I originally thought. Feeling a surge of confidence I grabbed Naruto's hand turning to the idiot on my left and said, "Now leave us alone."

Without saying another word, I dragged Naruto outside with me, all the way back to the tree. I listened to him sniffing behind me. Figures he would cry at a random moment, I told him he should have cried yesterday. No tears left my ass. As I sat down on the grass, Naruto plopping down beside me, I realized that I wasn't dead and none of that was a dream.

Nice.

"Were you really not crying Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, crossing his arms apparently upset that I wasn't bawling. "Seriously?"

"No, Naruto. I wasn't crying." I replied, refusing to admit that I was just for a split second. How embarrassing would that be? Well, Naruto actually did cry but to be honest he embarrasses himself in public all the time. I just did it yesterday; one time in my life doesn't make me want to keep going. I felt bad though, sitting there listening to him sniff and let out small moans of sadness. "But I did tear up a little bit…..don't you ever tell anyone. Or you're dead!"

Naruto laughed at me, leaning against the tree's trunk. Lunch was almost over by now, and I didn't even get any food. "Why were you crying though? Was it because of what people said? I didn't think that you were that sensitive about it. You seemed to never care much other than being called a maid."

"No, Naruto, it wasn't that." I said, sighing. I wanted to tell him what it really was. That it had much more meaning than some stupid things people say. But even so, I can't even bring myself to say it, much less out loud. He seemed to sense that, and drifted on to a new topic.

"Do you want to hang out with me tomorrow, I mean some of my friends will be there but it shouldn't be, you know, bad? And I was also going to ask if they could come over today to!" He questioned, he still had streaks of tears running down his face, and his blue eyes were haunting me with their presence. How can I say no? Wait, what am I thinking? Just because he's begging you doesn't mean you have to agree, Sasuke!

Ugh. But what if I actually want to hang out, at least one more hurrah before my father kills me. "What are we going to do today?"

"I don't know. I was going to ask if they could just hang out at the house for a while and rent a movie or something. Maybe play Kiba's game system." A game system, I've never really played, but it might be kind of cool to watch people die on a screen the size of the wall.

"Alright but no spending the night, and no breaking shit or making a mess. " I responded, feeling like the adult again. Why does Naruto have to be so childish? Can't he act his age at least a little? "My Father comes home every Saturday."

"Oh really? It's really weird my dad, he comes…." Naruto stopped his usual rambling, a dark look falling over his face, I didn't mention anything as he continued, correcting himself, "He used to come home every day and we would spend time together until he would force me to sleep! "

"Your father sounds-ed like a good person." I commented, hoping that my fumble with the past and present tense wouldn't be caught or at the very least overlooked. My father and his are a lot alike in circumstance, but how they handled the situations handed to them is very different in comparison. How can two people be so different? What makes a person who they are? But I can't come up with an answer that everyone seems to explain, because I know the answer is much deeper than the surface of experience, it's something bred in the soul.

"Yeah but your dad is different, he kind of freaks me out to be honest." Naruto said shivering, figures he would completely ignore how that might be insulting to me. But even I said so myself right? So what's the point in getting angry over it? Naruto went on to explain, "I mean he's crazy stern looking, and plus my dad always used to talk about him in a weird way. Maybe that's why he's so weird. Huh Sasuke? What do you think? Sasuke?"

Oh right it's my turn now. "I would be lying to say that I don't fear my father."

"Hmmm." Naruto was oddly silent on this matter for a bit, before deciding to answer. "You're kind of scary yourself. So I just thought that it might be normal in your family. I mean look at your brother."

"Yeah he can be kind of intimidating." I admitted, Itachi hasn't returned home since the incident in the cemetery. Is he running from me, or did he finally decide not to stick around again? Wait, if Naruto met my dad beforehand, then that means he figured out we were related before coming to stay with us possibly. "Did you know that you would be staying with me?"

"Well….." Naruto said, laughing as he scratched the back of his head. "I thought that was a possibility."

"Really?" I said, leaning back on the tree, wondering how it wouldn't be a possibility. Why didn't he deny it and ask to stay somewhere else? Was my father being pushy? "And you weren't bothered by it?"

"Yeah I was, but I had nowhere else to go." He replied, a sullen look followed on his face as he decided to change the topic, "Sakura said that you were mean to her at the funeral. Were you in a bad mood? "

"No. I wasn't." I replied, why is he mentioning her? I don't want to hear about Pink Bitch today, especially right now, or ever in the future for that matter, "I just didn't want to talk to her, she annoys me."

"You know she likes you right?" Naruto said, laughing awkwardly. Is he trying to make me throw up, "You shouldn't be so mean to her."

"I have no interest in her so why would I be nice to her? Why would she like me anyway, I thought I was an A-class freak? " Ugh, no way, doesn't he like her anyway? Is he worried I might like her back or what? "Besides you like her right? Why are you telling me to be nice to a girl you like, just be there to comfort her when I tear her down and maybe she might decide to like you instead."

"Come on, Sasuke? Please be nice." Naruto pleaded, he's even more of an idiot then I first thought "If you are any meaner to her, then I might get angry okay? She's still my friend."

"Right well, she's not mine." I replied harshly, Naruto has no right to tell me who I should and should not be nice to. I'm mean to everyone, so just leave me be huh? "So I don't see any reason to be nice to her."

"Sasuke." Naruto whined.

"Naruto." I mocked back. We both sat there, him pouting at me and I staring him down with my best stern look. It was awhile before he finally caved.

"Fine Sasuke. Be that way." Naruto said giving up as he stood, "I have to go to class now, I hope someone grabbed my bag. Are you going?"

"No. I'm going back to the house." I replied, standing up with him, "I have something to do." I really don't have anything to do. I'm just saying that because Iruka will nag me for about an hour about showing up to school so late, considering I would have to check in with the office for a tardy in order to avoid getting in trouble for skipping.

"Well okay! See you later Sasuke!" Then he took off at a surprisingly fast speed, a blur of yellow and orange contrasting with the dark grass covering the field. For someone so bright, he's so stupid, isn't that a bit ironic.

I walked home, picking up some snacks for Naruto's friends along the way. Why do I always get stuck in the middle of things? I've never had to entertain so many people. A visual of being introduced to the crowd in my house as Dark Desires flooded my head and I shook it with disgust. Why would I make myself wear such a weird outfit in my own fantasy?

Something is terribly wrong with you Sasuke.

By the time I made it home, school was going to be let out in 30 minutes. I honestly don't know why I bothered to buy snacks for people I don't even like. Naruto's plea for Sakura popped in my head, was I even that mean to her? If at all? I didn't think so. Well next time just to be sure I'm mean in my own definition. I should tell her about one of my many brilliant plans to end her life. Like setting her on fire while she's wearing high heels so that when she runs around screaming she trips, on the other hand if she starts rolling around on the ground she might inevitably save herself. I'll have to think about that more.

I waited another 15 minutes and Naruto still hadn't shown up, the whole time I paced around the kitchen like a fool. Why don't I just run upstairs and lock myself in my room? Why didn't I just leave them with nothing to eat? Why am I trying so hard? "MEOW" the cat, I mean Saruto called, following me around like the annoying pest he is. "I should have just named you Naruto."

"MEOW" the cat replied, smiling up at me as its paws came to rest on my knee. I sighed, reaching down to pick him up. He sanded down my face with his tongue, "Stupid cat."

I heard the door swing open, and in flooded Gaara (the quiet one), Kiba (the loud one), Pink Bitch (the Sakura, I know a little harsh of a nickname right?), Ino (Blonde bitch) and Naruto. Despite the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I stepped forward to present myself.

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto greeted, everyone else remained silent and Kiba glared at me while biting his lip. I sent Kiba a look that said 'start something and I'll finish it' and turned to address Naruto. "Did you take care of that thing?"

"Yeah I did." I replied, doesn't that sound incredibly suspicious? Like I was taking care of a dead body or something? Which is impossible considering Pink Bitch is standing right there, clearly breathing through her way to tight low cut shirt. She really disgusts me, what is she doing here anyway? I doubt it's to play games and to judge from the stupid look on Naruto's face, he's too focused on the fact that Sakura is here rather than asking himself the critical question as to why she is here in the first place.

So surprise, surprise. Sakura spent all of her time taking up my space while the rest centered themselves around Kiba's game station and played, Ino was the only one who noticed and sent strange looks to Sakura the whole time without verbally commenting. I eventually gave in and sat down on the couch, only to have pink bitch sit with me. Naruto looked behind him after being killed for apparently the fifth time.

The look on his face was clearly an unhappy one.

It wasn't my goal to annoy Naruto today, provoke him, or even hurt him in anyway. But Pink Bitch was making it pretty impossible drooling over me like a dog in freaking heat. "Hey Sasuke what do you do on weekends?"

I sent a glare at her, that she apparently had the ability to withstand. I know Naruto said he would get angry, but isn't he already mad at me now? "On weekends I stalk whores like you, knock them out in an abandoned alleyway, drag their bodies to an underground human trafficking market and sell them for the best price possible. But if I found you in an alleyway alone, I would just kill you and walk away, because Pink Bitches don't sell very well do they?"

Her face of shock brought so much joy to me that I almost couldn't contain it and allowed a smirk to grace my lips, though I'm sure it looked somewhat sarcastic. Naruto and the rest of his friends grew silent, Ino seemed to be laughing with me however, their characters going still as they stared at the ticking pink time bomb. Suddenly, I heard a sound from Naruto, his annoyed sound. How could he like someone like her? I find her pathetic, annoying, and a person who clearly disregards Naruto as a person.

She stood, stomping her way out of the room and slamming the door behind her. Naruto's friends looked from Naruto then to me, wordlessly preparing to leave. I had ruined something that could have been, and that particular feeling hit me like the wind. It's the feeling that you get when you ruin something that could have brought about a future outcome. Which is exactly what I just said? Did I repeat?

"What the hell was that Sasuke!" Naruto started in, his friends increased their pace feeling the storm brewing at their heels, except for Gaara who turned to leave without a word. "Can't you just be Nice?"

"NO!" I yelled back, calming my voice to continue, "Who are you to tell me what to do? What should I do then? Pretend to like her? Pretend to enjoy her company? Wouldn't that just be crueler than anything else? "

I think that's more than I have ever said to him, but making a point sometimes takes a voice. At that point, Naruto's friends were slipping out of the door, arranging certain types of transportation to get home. I guess Naruto drove them.

"You still don't have to be like that Sasuke! What's you problem ? Why are you so mean?" Naruto shot questions at me as well, he was gritting his teeth. Preparing for a fight that wouldn't happen, because to fight with a guest even verbally would be a death sentence.

"Maybe something's wrong with me, or you can just accept that you're an idiot." I shot back, escaping toward my room with the cat at my heels. What does it want from me? Food? Affection? I'm in the mood to give nothing, and make certain to slam the door behind me so it will lose a chance to enter the room. Is Sakura really so annoying I have to get all worked up or is it just Naruto himself? Or is it me, am I possible annoyed at myself?

No, I'm not.

I hung around my room for about an hour, playing around on my computer, listening to music while laying on my bed, throwing a ball around the room, doing anything and everything to keep my mind of the trouble looming in the darkness of this house.

Why am I here?

"Sasuke." Naruto's voice called from the darkness, the knock on the door sounded distant. "Do you drink?"

Sometimes. "Yeah." I opened the door to find Naruto holding a about 3 bottles of wine, he was smiling as if nothing happened earlier. I don't have to apologize and he doesn't either, we can just be friends for a moment. We decided to drink downstairs at the kitchen table, Itachi wouldn't care and my dad won't be home anyway.

"I'm not above drinking." Naruto commented, setting the second wine bottle in front of him for the fourth time, "So you like wine?"

"Only the sourer types, the sweeter types are harder for me to drink, a personal taste issue." I commented back, we sat there pouring our own glasses for a while and nearly finishing two bottles. We both fell into our own worlds, thinking our own thoughts while sitting together and not feeling a moment of awkwardness. This is true relaxation isn't it? I can think about Itachi, I can think about my father, I can even think of Naruto while sitting by his side and not mind his silent company. He doesn't have to talk to me, and I don't have to talk to him. We can just sit her and sink into the Earth together.

Suddenly I noticed him staring at me, did I talk out loud? "Hey, Sasuke will you get mad if I do something."

"What do you mean?" He isn't going to punch me is he? I can't handle that and my dad's beating to, not that Naruto would do much damage. He might be into sports, but I've let my fists fly more than a few times. But instead he just scooted closer, leaning into me.

You're so disgusting Sasuke. For once I didn't think that as Naruto's lips met mine, and a feeling engulfed me that I couldn't possible ever explain. Like something slithered away in my being, if not just for a moment.

And for once, I laid down in my bed that night, facing so that I could look out my window and up at the stars. Wouldn't it be amazing if right at this moment I could be swallowed away by the skies? If the stars could decide to just for a moment reach down and swallow me into a wonderland that I will never physically touch?

Before the Earth swallows me into the hole that so many fall away into.

But it wasn't meant to be.


	6. Chapter 6

******Hey, so I know what you are wondering. HAVE YOU BEEN DEAD? No, just lazy :/ but I'm back with more chapters so be happy! yay!**

**Chapter Six: I want to Hold Him**

Today is going to be a good day; I'm going to get up! Get dressed! And see the world-SLAM- oh well fuck that. I clutched my aching foot, this is what I get for trying to leap out of bed, and I get to slam my foot into a dresser. Or more like slammed by idiocy, either way it's an idea right? There is no way I could ever fall into that little ballpark of idiocy. No way that I will ever, so why am I sitting here trying to defend the subject?

New subject; Naruto. Okay, so let's just say, hypothetically, for a second that I maybe might kind of sort of I don't know, like him still…as more than a friend. I know, I know. Hey Sasuke after years of conditioning yourself to hate every inch of every characteristic that is Naruto, how can you possibly still feel the same? Hypothetically speaking still of course. Then there is the whole thing involving my complete distaste for love in general, or sex. Ugh, never mind this hypothetical crap is so annoying.

Fine, I like him. There. I said it. Damn.

What am I going to do about it? Naruto likes Pink Bitch, Skank-Ass-Kunt-Undervalued member of the-Rimjob experts-Association for short or just Sakura if you really want to use her nickname; one drunken kiss doesn't mean jack shit. I hate her with a burning passion, I really do. How could she hit on me like that in front of Naruto, when she knows he likes her because he's an obvious forward person. What an annoying Bitch. That's here new name, Bitch.

"Sasuke." I hear Naruto's voice call through the door. "Are you in there?"

"Yeah." I replied, a mixture of happiness mixed in with a bout of uncertainty filled my stomach. Naruto knocking on my door in the morning, meaning that he got up before me, it can only make me wonder did something bad happen. Did my Father come home uncontrollably mad? What if he is here? Will Naruto….no if he was here I wouldn't have been able to sleep.

Naruto eased the door open, holding back a bit with uncertainty. "Ummm, Sasuke….about last night…."

Oh last night, "Don't worry about it we were drunk." I replied, knowing where he was going with this. Why would he think it was anything more? It's too hard for me to be loved. Friendship I might to be able to have, and likability, maybe somewhere I can muster that as well. But love, love will never be.

Today for me love is dead.

Realization was stunning for my heart, all uncertainty was cleared; I felt the beats slowing, my breathing become deeper. This is dying. This is love, even in the smallest possibitly of existence, dying. I thought I had you, somewhere in the recess of my head, I thought I had you and it turns out I couldn't have been more wrong.

Because you will always have her to love, and if you don't have her then there will be another her to have. This shocking feeling of death was welling, swelling, inflaming with a choking feeling that I have never felt before. Oh but I know it.

It is rage.

Don't act angry Sasuke that would be unfair and stupid. You are neither…almost neither. It's a good thing I am just a generally angry person, it makes everything just kind of pop into place for others. I don't have to be hurt I can just be angry. I don't have to cry I can just be angry. I don't have to be upset I can just be angry. I don't have to be in pain I can just be angry. What does it matter if I'm angry? I'm Sasuke.

I'm Angry.

"Alright." Naruto said, unusually quiet as he leaned on the doorknob and watched me with curious eyes. Why isn't he smiling or something stupid? Why isn't he being Naruto?

"Well, your dad got home this morning and so did Itachi." Naruto explained, "They are in your dads office talking, then supposedly just Itachi is going to take me to get some 'food' that I want or something for a few hours….are you in trouble?"

Am I in trouble? I would be in trouble if a teacher caught me sticking gum under a table, I would be in trouble if I pushed a kid down the stairs, I would be in trouble if I called Kakashi an ass-hat and drizzled him with chocolate sauce.

No Naruto, I'm dead.

"No." I told Naruto, I wasn't sure if he believed me or not but he wasn't going to challenge me. I even rolled my eyes for effect, as if the idea was completely ridiculous. "He's just going to ask me how you are doing and stuff, that kind of thing. It's nothing like that."

"Oh." He commented, unmoving just standing there and staring at me. I peered over at my dresser, my foot no longer throbbing.

"Are you going to watch me get dressed?" I asked, sending him a look. He snapped back into reality, sticking his tongue out at me before closing the door.

What an idiot.

I got ready with an aura of reluctance; this world is a cruel one. I know nothing of hunger, or war, or what if feels like to have nothing. But life is not fair or perhaps it's too fair, even in a big house; with a full belly and many objects of possession, pain is still abundant. A world without pain doesn't exist; if it did the world would know nothing of happiness.

Is that a grim idea? Is that crazy? Maybe just a little bit, but it is unavoidable. I got dressed, walked down the stairs slowly as if each step would crack the floor. Then I reached Father's door, raised my hand and knocked on the door.

"Come in." two simple words seemed to ring around the house, through one ear and out the other, then around my skull forming to the curvature of my head until it becomes weighed down by something not even the human eye can see

I closed my eyes, feeling my body relax rather than tense, my hands turned the knob. The door swung behind me, and I stepped not into a room but into a fist glazed with rage.


	7. Chapter 7:The Day I Died

**Believe it or not but this chapter took the longest for me to write. It was driving me nuts. I don't think that this is the best chapter but I always say that! So let me know your opinions in a REVIEW! Alright, read on!**

**Chapter Seven: The Day I died **

Isn't death over glorified in books? Something treated as a mystical element, in a novel a death never just means death. It's symbolic isn't it? It's also sickening. For once I want to read about a death that is just a death. There is nothing special about it, there is nothing noticeable and I can move one without having to sit there and figure it out. People die, duh. It freaking happens, duh. So if things that happen in real life happen in books, why can't that?

Is it possible for a main character to die and accomplish that goal?

I don't know. "What are you thinking about now?" Naruto pressed, he was very excitable today because it was just me and him in the library alone. Or at least that is what I would like to believe. Come on get real Sasuke, that's never going to happen. After all Naruto's in love with the pink bitch remember? Yeah-Yeah I remember mental kick, thanks for the reminder.

"Hey, wouldn't it be funny if different key moments in our lives from day to day were like chapters in a book?" I questioned, Naruto made a face at the suggestion and I somewhat regretted pulling the idea out of my ass to avoid the real topic playing in my mind. On repeat over and over, I can even hear it now "in love with the pink bitch, in love with the pink bitch."

"I think that would be kind of strange, but also very cool." Naruto commented, "I want to be in a book about Ninja's and have tons of romances! Blah, Blah, Blah."

I didn't hear anything after that because my mind focused on the romance part of his sentence, romances with who exactly? Pink Bitch or more? Damn, I can't get so caught up on things like this it's not like we are dating right? Not even close.

So why can't I stop? Suddenly my incident with Father earlier today popped into my head and I forgot all of it, like some kind of built in security system. There are honestly 3 different stages that I sort of go through after a beating; 1. When no one can see the marks on my face, or the limp in my step and I act normal because I'm too numb to feel, I get very pissed and take it out on random people because I have nowhere else to fume my emotions, I lose myself. There is really a stage 4 where everything sort of pops back into place with me, but it never really lasts long.

So I'm in stage 1; ignoring my emotions, the feeling of my face and my ribs.

Today Naruto's friends were supposed to hang out with us, but considering my rampage on Sakura and her immense distaste for rejection, that's not happening.

"What about this book!" Naruto yelled, several "shhh's" echoed the area and I shook my head, how did this guy survive his last time in the library? I'm surprised we haven't been kicked out by now. Naruto looked around, remembering that he had to be quiet, then leaned closer and half-whispered, "What about this book?"

"Like I didn't hear you the first time, that book sucks to." I replied, looking at the sports image splattering the front covers. You call that a title? I call that something I'm going to wrap up into a little ball and stuff into a trash can after whipping up cat piss. It doesn't really surprise me that he would pick that crap out.

"You know I see the books you read at school, they look dark." Naruto commented, already not bothering to whisper but at least keeping it below a yell. Besides it isn't that they are dark, it's that they're real.

"Are you stalking me or something?" I was half joking, but Naruto's cheeks heated up and he shook his head over enthusiastically.

"N-NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Naruto yelled louder than ever, I resisted the urge to laugh and shook my head back instead. The clanking heels of the librarian were clacking away a few aisles over. Without saying a word, I grabbed Naruto and dragged him the opposite way, managing to sneak past everyone and out the front door. I was just lucky Naruto didn't make another noise.

"Wow, Sasuke you're ninja." Naruto exclaimed as soon as we were free from the librarian's wrath.

"Maybe in a past life." I replied, trying to ignore the throbbing in my ribcage. My heart, my ribcage, what's left to suffer? "What do you want to do now?"

"Uhh…." Naruto said, his eyes rolling toward the skies while he thought of something, "How about….we go…..to Kiba's and play a game?"

"Would I really be welcome to do that?" Naruto formed a blank stare on his face, before shaking his head and shrugging.

"Uhh…well then how about we…..how about we…..I don't know? Uh….."It seemed like he had an idea he was unwilling to share. Why? Isn't that kind of weird for Naruto the blabbermouth?

"What is it? What do you really want to do Naruto?" I confronted, "I'm a loser remember? You can confess anything."

"You're not a loser, I think you're cool." Naruto commented, my heat flared and my mind sunk. So what he thinks I'm cool, it's not a love confession is it? He's not on his knees or anything, so get over it Sasuke. "Well….there is this comic book place around the corner; I like those better than books."

"Like superhero stuff?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow at the very idea that Mr. Popular would be caught in a place like that, "Like the flying and the capes? Happy endings?"

"Yeah! Hero stuff!" Naruto exclaimed, "It's so awesome, if I could be a hero I could save…." He fell silent choosing not elaborate. I assume he means his father, but to be honest even if Naruto could save the world, he wouldn't be able to save his Father.

No wait, was he truly worth the derogatory term of Father; his father was a true Dad. Isn't that a shame, mine is still here and someone who is called Dad is still alive?

I don't know why I consider Father to be something derogatory, it just is that way. The cuts on my fingers voiced their distaste of my habit of putting my hands in my pocket while walking. These are really tight, I need new pants.

"Promise not to tell anyone! Especially not Kiba, he would make fun of me." Naruto stated, it was too late to make me promise now right? But oh well, I nodded my head anyway and continued to walk in the direction of the comic book store. We drove here, but I'm not getting in the car for something I could just walk to that would be a waste of gas.

The comic book store was more fun than I will ever admit. There were comics with good stories, not so happy endings but that was fine with me, though the one with the guy raping the dog was a little too much for my taste.

Seriously, it was a traumatizing experience. But I guess some people are just into that, like mixing ketchup with sweet and sour sauce, it's not for everybody but somebody is going to say "hey I do that!" and others are going to consider trying that.

You know what? I'm going to try that, the sweet and sour ketchup by the way not raping a dog.

What the hell is wrong with my head, sometimes I really have no clue.

"Sasuke! Are you ready to go home?" No, I'm not ready to go back to the house. I don't want to have to even speak a word to my father. I don't want to be there. I don't want to explain why certain pieces of furniture are now missing, things you didn't see because I had you out of the door before you could walk in.

I want to feel as though I can breathe again.

"That depends. What time is it?" I answered; Father leaves the house around 9pm.

"It's 6:43." Damn, figures it would be a 3 hour wait. "What do you want to do?"

"Let's hang out, I might be an A-class freak but that doesn't mean I have any wish to hole up in my house for hours on end doing nothing on a weekend." That's a lie; I could go for a rest or maybe even read a good book. "You know what, I think there was a carnival set up at the mall parking lot back there, want to go check it out?"

"Sure!" Naruto exclaimed, almost forgetting to pay for his books. It really must be fun to feel so much excitement for every little thing.

We spent the rest of the day at the carnival place, spending money on an endless game of popping balloons and arm wrestling with giant mechanical hands. It was fun, but my body cried for rest my soul would not allow. I didn't want to give in; I didn't want anything to stop me from completing my wishes, especially him. I got to play with Naruto, and for a second possible imagines it as a date though I wasn't fooled. This is just what I need, a bit of an imagination.

It was perfect.

The next day closed my mind completely; I spent all of Sunday in a dose letting my mind and body rest, sinking into phase 2 so that when Monday came, I was nothing but a ball of anger. Naruto seemed to sense my strange mood as I spilled my cereal on the floor for the second time in a row and proceeded to throw my bowl in frustration. It was embarrassing to be so easily irritated, especially in front of him.

I decided to avoid him in case of anything else happening, but everyone else can go fuck themselves. As long as no one gets in my way everything will be fine.

And so with that as my mindset, the 2nd week of Naruto's stay at my house started.

In class things were actually okay. No one spoke to me, whispers died down, teachers ignored me. Things were going fine until I realized that I had a project due, but I had none of my homework. I had nothing at all.

This teacher, whatever her name was, didn't seem to get the idea that I just had other things going on. Sure I guess I could have stayed home and worked on it instead of running around with Naruto all night, I could have even spent the past few days before then working on it. But there is just something that pulled me away from it, even if it crossed my mind no ideas popped into my head as thoughts of my inevitable encounter with my father loomed in the back of my skull.

But I was in phase two, beyond reason, and as she looked down at me with a displeasing sparkle in her eye I couldn't help but feel my blood bubbling with anger. It really is unfortunate, because I always get a beating when there are projects due for her class. Doesn't that make me look bad? And I don't even do it on purpose.

"I didn't have time for your stupid project; fail me if you want I don't care." I replied, shocking the class with my bold display of attitude. I truly didn't care; it might get me in trouble with dad. It might make me become something I was trying hard not to become but the only option I see at the end of the day is one.

Surprisingly enough phase 2 ended without really any trouble other than the teacher, I went home and locked myself in a room not bothering to eat dinner with Naruto or even see him for that matter. Then Tuesday came and so began phase 3.

Losing myself.

I made it through school as an unemotional robot, when Naruto or anyone for that matter spoke to me I replied in short answers with small words. It's like a calm anger dwelling within me, others can tell I'm angry even though they don't know why but I don't have to scream, beat, or kill. It's just a matter of feeling like I have control at this point, it's all an allusion but I need it.

In truth this is really when I'm at my weakest.

The day had already passed quietly, and allowed myself to have a moment alone in the bathroom. A moment to really evaluate myself.

I stared into the mirror, debating to answer the call lurking behind my image. There was no more pain really, even though I was already bleeding from the wounds my father gave me just a little bit, but I didn't feel any pain from them. In stupid books written by people who really don't know what it's like, they always talk about the physical pain of the abused character as their body is pushed to its limits, or maybe I have just read too many stupid books. But the truth is you don't feel any pain when they hit you after a while, maybe at the beginning when it first starts but over time there isn't much of an effect. Nothing but a small pain in your heart if you even have a heart left to hurt, and even then it's not really a physical type of pain is it? Granted, I do get up the next morning usually sore as hell. My mood gets worse and my personality become rotten, and in those moments I do everything in my power to get out the anger. Even if it mean taking it out on others, because it's not something I think about it's just something I do. In those ways, it hurts beyond control.

Then there are people who expect me to have some sort of plan for my life, but what plan can I possible have? It's because those people, they don't know what it's like to be some numb you don't want a future. To be so numb that all you can really do is dream, because every time you try it only ends in more pain, more bruises, more screaming and terror. To be so numb, that the only feeling you feel is fear. Because when you're like that, even living is trying. There is one thing I can do now, because what do I really have?

I have no love.

I have no life.

I have nothing but myself and in the end what does that really equal out to?

I reached into the cabinet, my hand grasping a bottle of morphine that shouldn't even be in my possession. Tilting the bottle, the circular pills spilled out into my hand. How many? I don't know, a handful maybe, but they all whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

"We will fufill your wishes!" They promised.

"We will take you to the stars!"


	8. Chapter 8

**SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! Okay, so I was going to update and then 1. I lost internet, 2. I COULDN'T LOG INTO MY ACCOUNT o-O ANYWAY HERE YOU GO**

**Chapter Eight: To Hug You**

"Sasuke!" Naruto's voice rang out through the door, echoing off the walls of my mind; the pills whispers came to a hush in my ear. You really have to be kidding me; I must be losing it officially. The thought makes me laugh out loud, "Sasuke! Are you in there! Open up!"

I don't know what it is, but suddenly I don't care so much. Naruto has reached through walls, and slapped sense into me. Shoving the pills back where they belong, I open the door, he almost falls in but I catch him as he tumbles, his blue eyes are so close to mine, so very close, "What do you want stupid? Can't I piss in peace?"

"I just…are you alright?" Naruto asked, leaning off of me and standing on his own, I was hoping he might lean in a little but that would just be too easy right? I mean would it even be possible?

"I'm fine." I answered, it was automatic for me to say that but right now I realize that for some unspeakable reason I really am fine. I can't believe I even thought about ending my own life. "There isn't anything wrong, I've just been feeling a little sick.''

"What are these?" he asked, picking up the morphine bottle, what they were registered in his eyes and he looked at me slowly as if seeing a whole new person, "…Sasuke…."

I couldn't look him in the eye. "Don't worry about it there's nothing wrong."

My stubborn voice seemed to cue something in his mind, a flash of recognition erupted in his eyes as he set the pill bottle on the counter. "Well Itachi came in and went to his room; I got bored so I decided to check on you because you seemed a little quiet."

"You haven't been bored the past two days?" I asked, snatching the pills from the counter and placing them in the medicine cabinet. There is something wrong with this, why isn't he letting me through the door and dropping the conversation? Why is he mentioning being bored? Is that really a valid reason to come stalk me?

"I did check on you, but you were always sleeping." Naruto commented, sounding like a creepy old but young looking twilight character. That would be too good though wouldn't it? Because then he would have to be in "love" with me, plus I could make fun of him for the sparkles. I'm a Twilight hater; people can deal with it just like I deal with people liking it.

Deep breaths.

"That's kind of weird." I commented, not knowing how else to respond, "But I've known weirder."

"Something's been wrong lately. Did your dad really talk to you about nothing besides my stay?'' those blue eyes were suddenly staring me down, pleading with me to be honest, to open up and tell him everything. But I'm a liar, it's what I do. If I don't live my life that way, there will be consequences there is no doubt about that. I've seen that look before, just a few times in my life, from people who are smarter then they look and not once have I ever stepped away from my lies.

So why do I suddenly feel like the words will fall out of my mouth at any moment.

"Sasuke." Naruto said, his blue eyes blinking and snapping me out of my thoughts. "Will you answer me already?"

"Fine. I may have gotten into some trouble, but it's not that big of a deal so just drop it." I didn't really lie there now did I? I mean, just a bit but not really, if you really want to get detailed while evaluating it. Oh wait, I forgot something. "And the pills are for some old injures that have been acting up lately and making me crazy. I don't like taking pills; I was only going to take maybe half of one. Or maybe even less than that now that I think about it."

There he goes with that look again, trying to figure me out. "Am I lying? Can you tell?" were silent questions remaining unanswered in my head. Naruto chose to just go with what I said for now I guess. "Alright, well maybe some other kind of pain medicine might be better next time?"

"Yeah." Was all that fell out of my stupid mouth, what the hell? I've told better lies when I was just five years old, that was weak. Anyone with half a brain, which Naruto does have that at least, would be able to figure out that you would have to have some pretty intense pain to swallow a morphine pill.

A small part of my brain dared to have the notion that I was truly in that much pain, just not physically, that morphine might not have been enough to cure me of it.

I put it out of my mind and moved on.

Finally Naruto moved out of the way and allowed me to pass, but I couldn't get far without him reeling me back, "Hey, Sasuke! Kiba and the guys are going to hang out after school tomorrow and play games. Do you want to join me?"

I sighed in the direction of the hall in front of me. You've got to be kidding me Naruto that would be fun to everyone but me. I would rather slit the tops of my eyelids with a razor blade then spear salt in the open wounds than join him for a round of games with people who already don't like me.

He might have half a brain, but maybe that's all he's got.

Fashioning my gaze into a glare, I turned around to face him and was slapped, hard, with a look of hope. Naruto might have more of a brain than I thought…not surprising considering my lame lie earlier. He must be worried about at least a little. "Fine. I'll go but on one condition."

Naruto's smile swept across his face, he bounced on the tips of his toes in anticipation, "Sure you name it!"

"Not a word about it to Sakura. If I see her, I'm probably going to kill her. I'm crankier these days." I warned, surprise filled Naruto's face for a second. Really? Why would he be even remotely surprised? He didn't comment on my warning though, sensing that this wasn't something he could win me over on.

"Fine." Naruto pouted, are you really going to miss her that much? Does she mean that much to you Naruto? Those questions gave me that sinking feeling in my chest again, like I was forgetting how to breathe. "I won't tell any of the girls."

"Good." Was all I could find to say, ending the conversation as I practically ran to my room and shut the door. You have got to be kidding me Sasuke. Romance is an illusion of temporary chemicals and a fixed moral belief of the world around us and what it should be. Love? Ridiculous. Romance? Insanity.

So get it already, and control yourself.

I pounded this into my head a few more times, repetition is key right, before falling asleep for the night. Tomorrow would be a strange new day.

_NEXT DAY _

You know I've been thinking. What if everything we know and rely on comes to an end? Like some sort of zombie apocalypse deal, where a lot of people are trying to eat you, you don't have a house; you may not even have your right mind. Then what's of value? What is the point in living then? Survival maybe, but if so to serve what purpose, self-preservation can only take you so far.

It's love. Not the sticky, chemical, porn, get married have babies' kind of love. But the kind of love that involves companionship, the connection that one person makes with another that doesn't need to have all that…stuff. So why love Naruto? Why even bother trying when I can have something better, a true non-chemical based form of love. Someone who I never let go of and always keep close, but let free to do as he wishes even if that wish is to date stupid freaking Pink Bitch.

This is what happens when I zone out in English, I go on some weird psychedelic trance without swallowing a pill and even if the revelation I might have makes no sense I make it work.

I'm weird, I know.

So anyway, I've going to fast forward a bit through my day; English ends, I avoid English teacher, I watch Naruto from afar for a bit, I realize I'm being creepy and look away, some idiot shoves me into a locker, I turn around a smack the back of idiots head, idiot runs, I keep walking, I leave the school, I sit in my favorite place to skip and contemplate smoking, I end up deciding not to smoke, school ends, I find Naruto who drags me to Kiba's about an hour earlier than when we have to actually show up.

And here we are.

Kibbles n'bits over here is quite the character, he's protective of Naruto and an asshole just in general at the same time to Naruto none-the-less, a bossy character with a loud stupid attitude and plenty of guts to go with them. But today is different.

He doesn't glare at me today or even sat anything that could be considered hostile. He remained calm and almost in control as he offered me a drink and explained the controls of his console to me. No wait, control had nothing to do with it, he was being…friendly. Now that I think about it, school went by oddly peaceful to. I didn't hear a whisper, not a buzz, from the crowd coming from my back.

I even skipped school, just to skip. Not because of some trouble I was in, or because of my father. I did it...just…because? Because why?

Sitting here, playing a small match of basketball with Kiba on the screen and having a good time while Naruto off somewhere making himself at home inappropriately probably; I realize that I'm having one of those days that people have sometimes where everything just seems to be going their way. I thought it never happened, I laughed at the idea of a good day.

Wow, that's depressing.

No not a good day, I had good days. Hanging out with Naruto, avoiding my father, playing with Saruto in the house (though I will never, ever, admit to Naruto that I even thought of playing with that cat) those are examples of good days I remember. These sweet simple things mixed all together, that knocked the horrible chilling spice out of horrible memories just a bit.

No, no, this wasn't just a good day. It was exceptional and it's not even done.

Later the rest of Naruto's friends showed up, at the correct time, and guess what? Everything went okay. I didn't die of boredom, people weren't giving me weird looks like I was dangerous, and people actually chuckled at my weird dark humor. Of course I haven't told anyone about my secret methods of killing Pink Bitch in my head.

They would definitely have some weird looks then.

Finally our time came to an end, everyone was saying goodbye even to me and I was in a good enough moods to actually reply. But before everyone could get out of the door, Kiba interrupted with an offer that I would have laughed at just yesterday, "You should join us for lunch with the girls to." The crowd responded with "Yeah!" and "Why not?", even Gaara gave a silent nod of agreement wanting me to be there, wanting me around.

That's so weird.

Pink Bitch popped up in my head for the thousandth time today, and I shook my head, "No, I'm okay."

"Come on! Why not?" Kiba pressed, I sighed, looking around at all the hope in the room. This is weird. This is so weird. I just can't shake that thought; they seem almost too eager to let me, #1 outcast, into their crowd. Not to mention that they seem to have completely forgotten that I will probably end up slaughtering Sakura.

"No, I need my solitude. Too many people drive me nuts." I decided to respond, it sounded plausible. But I was really more concerned with the idea that they wanted me there, what's wrong with them? Did Naruto bribe them? Are they high on something? I didn't notice them smoking or swallowing anything, not even an inhale of something questionable.

"Fine." Kiba shrugged, "We don't want you killing everyone (AKA just killing Sakura, I guess he remembers now). That would be a problem." Then we all said goodbye, again, and left.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked as we got into his car, wait, do I drive? I can't remember? Do I own a car? What the heck? "Sasuke?"

"What?" I half snapped, Naruto was silent and wearing the most serious face I have ever seen on him, as we stared at each other. He wasn't driving, the keys weren't in the ignition, and it was just…me and him staring at each other. "I…just…it's kind of weird that they were being nice to me. And that they invited me to lunch to."

Naruto did the last thing I expected, his serious face broke into a beaming wide smile, "It's because I convinced them that they were being stupid. They weren't even giving you a chance, just judging you and stuff. I'm charming when I want to be ya'know?"

"No, I don't know." I smirked back; he stuck his tongue out at me before starting the engine. I did know, how charming he could be, but I guess it's just another thing in the closet for me.

Suddenly he was on one of his stories, moving his arms around and talking a mile a minute, it occurred to me that I was actually allowing myself to ride in a vehicle with this maniac, "I remember this one time at a birthday party, I convinced a clown to pretend to be a chicken. Clowns are crazy, did you ever have one when you were a kid at your birthday parties? What kind of birthday parties did you have?"

"No. I don't remember having any birthday parties." I replied, dead silence followed as if I shocked him somehow. I didn't have things that normal kids had I guess. No clowns. No cake. No glory.

"WHAT?" Naruto yelled in my ear, I eyed him with disapproval that went unacknowledged, "I've always had them! Always! HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE ONE?"

"I just haven't had one. I don't even celebrate my birthday anymore." I answer as smoothly as possible. To be honest, it's almost as if my family has forgotten that things like holidays or birthdays even exist. My father remembers his birthday, he might even comment on it but he doesn't even make the effort to hand me a card and go "Here, twenty bucks wasted on crap for you to buy. Go clean the kitchen and don't break anything or I'll have your ass stapled to the wall." No, not even that much effort at all.

But I don't mind. Trust me, because if he did give me a gift, that's probably exactly, how it would go.

And Itachi, I don't remember his birthday either. When was it? August? June? May? I seriously can't remember. I doubt father remembers to, what would be the point in remembering anything other than a client's personal tastes, or a new way to run for elections next year to become a great big judge.

Oh yeah, that's where his mind defiantly is.

"Well then…I'LL THROW YOU ONE SASUKE!" Naruto exclaimed, letting go of the steering wheel for more than half a second and freaking me the fuck out.

"What the fuck! Naruto hands on the steering wheel or I'll kick your ass!" he immediately grasped the wheel, laughing like an asshole at my reaction.

"Did I scare you? Did I scare Sasuke?" I glared; he seems to be enjoying that incident way too much. But I enjoyed making him suffer when I was younger didn't I? So who can really blame him?

Not I.

"You didn't scare me." I protested, even though it was completely obvious that the truth was the opposite. "Shut up and drive."

We sat in silence for a whole second. I watched Naruto the whole time; it seemed as if he was withering around in his skin. Like he couldn't stand not saying something, like he was falling into thoughts, memories, ideas that he didn't want to be trapped in. In that whole second I wondered if Naruto has things he's running away from. But instead of getting angry instead of crying or angry instead of being afraid, what if he just laughs? What if he just talks?

Not to say the he doesn't have a temper, I know he does, but that's not the first thing he goes to is it? No, he goes for that connection. Like he was saying to me in the restaurant, about me looking for attention and how he used to look for the same attention when he was younger. The truth is, he's still looking for that attention isn't he? Just in a different sort of way?

Now I know what you're thinking, wow Sasuke a whole second to think of all this? Yeah, seriously that's all it took was a whole second. Then I gave him the relief he was looking for and began to speak again, "I don't want to celebrate my birthday anyway. I mean who would I celebrate it with? A therapist?"

"Well, how about we just start out with me and you, and Itachi?" Naruto gleamed, relieved that he wouldn't have to get lost in those thoughts of his. "And Saruto to of course, I promise it will be the best thing ever!"

There really is no convincing him that I don't want this is there? No reasoning to be done at all. "Fine. But you're going to have a long wait you know? My birthday is in months." he didn't reply, he just smiled at that and went on to rage about the idiot trying to drive in front of us.

As we pulled into the drive way I remembered that I don't have any interest in driving and therefore don't have a car. But why would I forget something like that? Of course my brain has an idea on the subject, "Because Sasuke, you want a car now don't you? What if you had friends? What if you have a reason now?" blah, blah, blah.

But I guess my mind does have a point, even if it's a little…crazy?

From that point on everything falls into place. I eat crazy new ramen with Naruto, fill Saruto's bowl, wonder where Saruto is, say goodnight to Naruto, wonder on the whereabouts of Itachi, and just as I reach the stairs I begin thinking about other things. About how I had fun today, how perfect school went by, and how Naruto didn't once mention Pink Bitch and my Father didn't call for the purposes of bitching.

Not once.

This is as good as it gets right? This is a little slice of heaven for a day, just for me to eat. As I lay down in my bed, laughing at my ideas, I look up at the stars and I can't help but think that they really did swallow me whole, because I have awakened in a whole new life.


	9. Chapter 9

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Attention!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Alright, things in this chapter get a little weird, but just hang in there. Trust me. Next chapter is much more sane and later chapter will explain everything! THANKS FOR TONS OF REVIEWS!**

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Chapter Nine: To Kiss you

The rest of the week went by without of flaw. I was just joking when I said to myself that I had awakened in a whole new life, but maybe there was some truth to that as the week went by. I mean I didn't even catch a glimpse of Pink Bitch in the halls, not all week! I'm surprised no one made any whispers that I might have really have killed her in an alleyway, which now that I think about it is so typical. I better make it a butcher shop, just drag her there and chop her into little bits of bitch and maybe sell the meat on the black market just for kicks if I can 5 cents for a pound maybe not even. Or is that too low for so much labor?

I don't know, can you sell that on the black market? What can you get from a black market? I'll have to research that.

My computer is just a few feet away but I don't move from my bed, it's Saturday, Father's day to be home and I really don't want to find out what kind of mood he's in. Especially after last week, because this week means that Father is going to be unusually forgiving yet he won't let me forget his threatening nature at the same time. He can't beat me again because it would be way too obvious and he's a smart guy. He knows that he can't fuck up even once and lose his temper. It's just extraordinarily annoying to me, because to everyone else there's me. An angry, temperamental kid who has no reason to be angry to have such a patient, loving father and it just makes me look fucked up. It makes me look crazy to the outside world, and then they really don't understand so they say it's because I lost my mother or some crazy shit like that. Then guess what? I get even angrier, because I can't stand it.

I can't stand that he looks at me in the private company of our house and says "you shouldn't make me angry Sasuke. Learn from your mistakes." And you know what; I actually hardly do anything except skipping school. But most of the time, it's not me. Most of the time, it's things that just can't be his fault so they have to be mine.

Because if they were his mistakes to bear, then he wouldn't be a perfect person and there is nothing he can't stand more than the idea of that.

Now I just get the feeling that I'm getting angry and babbling to myself. I turn, plop into my pillow and let out a long sigh. What a pain in the ass.

"Sasuke?" Why does everyone say my name like it's a question? It's not a question, it's my fucking name. Just say it like normal!

"What do you want Naruto!" I call back, don't you dare make me get out of bed Naruto. I love you, but I will just have to kill you if you do that. Wait, no. Back it up. I don't love you, I was just….what the hell am I doing? I don't have to explain things in my own thoughts he can't hear them.

I think it's because I'm sleepy that I'm crazy. That's my excuse right now. "Itachi cooked breakfast!"

"Ugh, really? I don't want any then." I called back; I'm not crazy enough to eat that crap. Woah, wait, back it up again. Itachi? When father is home Itachi is usually out of the door before you can blink. What's he doing? "Wait! I'm coming! I'm hungry so I may as well choke it down."

There is only one possibility, my father isn't here. My Father isn't here? Why? How? A billion questions grasped my head and pulled me in every direction as I pulled on clothes, and matted down my hair in some shape.

This is crazy; I thought I might be done with crazy after the past week but apparently not.

As I made my way down the stairs, I could hear Naruto laughing around the kitchen, telling obnoxious stories to Itachi, who apparently didn't mind. Saruto slid right past me, not acknowledging me for even an instance. Not even a "meow".

I paused mid step.

Why didn't he stop? Why didn't he meow up at me, rub himself against my leg, and annoy me as I tried to make my way down?

He must just be hungry, I'm over thinking it.

"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, seeing me on the stairs, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I replied, snapping out of it. I made my way to the kitchen looking around for any sign of my Father. Nothing, not even a coffee cup in the sink that he always, always leaves there no matter what. Itachi noticed my wandering eyes as I sat down at the table.

"Father decided not to come home. He called me instead of you because he wanted me to be here." He replied, setting a plate of some sort of mush in front of me. "That's supposed to be oatmeal. You know I suck at breakfast foods but Naruto convinced me to cook so I did."

Naruto convinced Itachi to do something? That's new, when did they get around to talking to each other. Oh right, probably sometime during the three day coma I was in. I sighed, sticking my spoon into the mush. The spoon didn't move, it just stood straight up with a bunch of gray mass surrounding the end in the bowl.

"Uh, well. It could be worse, Naruto could have cooked something." Itachi replied, Naruto glared at him, his own mass of junk in front of him obviously not touched.

"HEY! I CAN COOK!" Naruto blared, "I can cook eggs and everything! You just don't want to admit you can't!"

"I just did." Itachi replied coolly, "But I doubt you can do any better."

Before Naruto could rage on, I couldn't help it, I just busted out laughing. This is crazy to, crazier than anything else. Who would imagine Naruto and Itachi bickering at a table, who would imagine Itachi bickering?

I wouldn't.

Before I knew it, two other voices joined me in laughter. Crazy, manic laughter rang throughout the house echoing up the stairs possibly scaring my cat. It was a weird thing for me to hear in this house. Especially considering that Itachi and Naruto are both with me, sitting at a table feeding me...muck.

It was hilarious.

"Fine. I'll cook!" Naruto said, hopping out of his seat and heading straight for the kitchen. He scooped out the oatmeal into the trashcan, walked over to the first cabinet, opened it, and had every pan it contained spill out and fall on him, "OW!"

"Are you sure you aren't going to do something disastrous to the kitchen?" I asked, half laughing as I rose from my chair as well. "I'll help you I guess."

"NO!" Naruto yelled, catching me off guard, I froze, watching him nervously laughing as he scratched the back of his head, "I mean...you don't have to help. I can do it! Just sit down and relax!"

"Why?...Naruto?" I watched him chuckle as he picked up every pan, he just shrugged his shoulders at me as if that was some sort of answer. I lowered my tone and asked him again, "Naruto?"

"Well….I want to do it for your birthday." He said, setting a pan on the stove, pulling out eggs and other assortments of breakfast foods. "Because we are celebrating it…today, so that means you aren't allowed to do anything. We will do it for you!"

I looked over at Itachi who was nonchalantly sipping a cup of coffee; he returned my gaze and replied as he set the cup on the table. "Happy very belated birthday."

Why do I suddenly feel like a mother of two who is being pampered for mother's day? That's almost worse than a Disney princess "Are you guys serious? I know that I said we could celebrate it but are you sure you want to do this today."

"Yeah." Naruto answered, throwing something in a pan, "we talked about it for like an hour! Sit down!" Well on second thought I guess being compared to a mother is better than being compared to a Disney princess.

"Is something wrong with Saruto? Has he been avoiding you at all?" I asked, watching the cat stare at me from the floor, it still wasn't approaching me. It was almost as if I wasn't there at all.

"No. Why?" Naruto replied, the sound of something hissing filled the kitchen and I wondered what I would have to force down my throat next.

"He's acting a little weird today." I commented back, Itachi glanced at Saruto, examining him with close eyes.

"It's probably nothing, cats are weird. But you never know, maybe we should take him to the vet tomorrow and make sure everything on the inside is alright. I'll do it after work; I don't plan on being there long."

"Why? Is Father going to give you a hard time or something like that?" I asked, he only smiled slightly before leaning back into his chair and fiddling with his coffee.

"Yeah, something like that."

"EGGS ARE DONE! TOAST IS DONE! WAITING ON….oh….never mind I think that's it." Interrupted an overly excited Naruto, as he slid a plate in front of my face, he paused, his hand not leaving the plate. "Bacon! That what I forgot!"

As he headed back to the kitchen I rolled my eyes at Itachi who only shook his head in response. " I can't believe I go to school with him. It makes me question my educational choices."

"Private school is worse I promise." Itachi, the lucky one who got a private education answered. "You don't even want me to begin, trust me."

"Why? You do some regretful experimentation or something?" I questioned, he glared over at me in slight shock. I've heard rumors Itachi; you really think that I wouldn't listen in on conversations when I hear my brother's name? I shrugged at him, deciding to lean back in my chair and stare at Naruto with a bored face.

If it's my birthday I get to stare if I want to.

Naruto hurriedly placed pieces of bacon on my plate, trying not to burn himself in the process and only being partially successful in his mission. I had the urge to do something I haven't done in a while, I wanted to smile. Not laugh and point, or scuff, or shake my head. Just smile. There's a difference you know? Because a laugh is something you have when gestures alone can't express what you feel, or words, you have to just make a noise. And a scuff can be playful, or rude depending on the person. But a smile, to smile, truly smile you have to really have a soul because when you smile you are showing your soul to others. And when you smile, a real smile, you can feel something familiar yet without words, but I think that feeling just might be our soul, for sure our soul.

A true smile allows you to feel deep within your heart doesn't it? It kind of reminds me of my mom.

So I did, I let myself smile at the idiot in the kitchen trying to make everything perfect for me on a day that's only special because he made it so. And I got stared at, by Itachi for a few seconds before he practiced the art of minding his own business.

Nice to know I'm not the only one who knows how.

Naruto returned, once again placing the plate in front of me with a giant smile on his face. "THE PERFECT BREAKFAST ON THE PERFECT DAY!" then he returned to the kitchen to get himself and Itachi a plate.

The food was actually really…okay…."Naruto, your cooking more often. I don't care what you say."

Naruto only smiled at me, "What? Did you think I had a maid to do everything?"

Yes. "No. you just don't look like the kind of person who would be a good cook."

Breakfast went by pretty fast, I'm not going to lie Naruto really knows how to party and pamper. After breakfast, we watched a movie and made fun of it the whole time. Then believe it or not we played hide and seek, which I didn't want to do at first but then Naruto challenged me…and anyway it just ended up that way. After Hide and Seek, I complained about playing Hide and Seek so then we played cards, to heal my ego. After cards, we ate lunch, which Itachi cooked this time. It was edible. After lunch, we messed around with Naruto and kept telling him where to look for his keys, which were in his hands but he didn't notice that for about 5 minutes.

Now we are at the mall, which I never ever go to, and I'm forcing Naruto to try on girls clothes and taking embarrassing pictures for black mail. Which worked until Itachi and Naruto shoved me into a changing room, and put me in a dress, then hid my clothes somewhere.

And now they won't tell me where.

"Just tell me where they are!" I yelled from inside the current dressing room I was hiding in, pulling at the really tight fitting dress, trying to bring it past my knees. "This isn't funny! I thought it was my birthday! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE IM GOING TO MERCILESSLY SLAUGHTER THE BOTH OF YOU!"

"WELL I DON'T LIKE BEING IN DRESSES EITHER! JUST TAKE ONE PICTURE THAT'S IT!" Naruto yelled back, from I'm guessing outside. I stopped shouting, listening for other people, there is someone going in the room to my left, but those are the only people whose feet I saw. Naruto and Itachi are all I can hear. I think I might be okay.

I opened the door and ran to the next stall to the right. Itachi and Naruto laughing as I scrambled, this isn't working I need a new tactic. I cracked the door, Naruto and Itachi stared at me from across the way smirking with a camera. This is embarrassing but it can't be worse than wearing a dress, and guess what I'm doing that now.

So I started to make myself tear up. I can't believe I'm going to do this. "This…." I felt the first droplet of water poor out of my left eye, "isn't funny you guys, this is mean."

I forced myself to cry.

It's actually not hard for me to cry, because when things are bad I almost never do, so all I have to do is remember something and boom! I'm good.

I got my clothes back instantly.

"Sasuke? I'm sorry, don't cry anymore okay! Sasuke?" Naruto called to me as I changed, I wiped my eyes, grinning to myself as I opened the door. Then I punched Naruto in the stomach. He laid on the floor and laughed, which was alright with me because I really didn't punch him as hard as I should have. "Maybe we've had enough of the mall, want to go back home."

"Yeah. Let's go back to the house." I answered; he frowned up at me from the floor. It's because I won't say home. It's not his fault; he just doesn't know quite how it is for me to be there. I reached down and helped him off the floor, and then we made it back in one piece.

Good thing Itachi was driving.

Then it was dinner and cake time. Dinner was barbeque, dessert was a cake that I didn't eat, but I got to listen to Itachi and Naruto sing horribly and recorded it for a ringtone.

"Hey Sasuke, you know I've never been in the back yard?" Naruto suddenly asked me, he was finished with cake and staring at me with intention. "Will you show me back there?"

Uh-oh, what's he planning? Oh well, it can't be anything worse than wearing a dress. "Sure let's go. Are you coming Itachi?"

"No. I have to go upstairs real quick and look for something in my room. I might go to bed to." He answered clearing away the plates.

"Alright." I answered, leading Naruto out the back door. My backyard is nothing special. We have a tiny garden with lots of dead things, a pool that needs to be cleaned, and some patio furniture no one has sat on in ages. Things that are only abandoned, the grass looks pretty green though.

Naruto smiled at me, the moon was shining down on us pretty brightly, and his eyes looked like a whole other color in the light. "I have a confession to make. Earlier at the mall, putting you in a dress was just a distraction so that I could buy you something for your birthday."

"You bought me something?" What could it be? A book? Music?

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small box, then handed it to me. "for you."

I looked at the small present, slowly unwrapping it, and popping open the box lid, "A watch?" it was a nice silver watch, with a black face. The timing was perfect, almost to the second on my phone. Creeper.

"Do you like it?" Naruto smiled at me, I smiled back, a true smile.

"Yeah I do. But are you sure you want to give it to me, it looks really expensive." I don't know that I could ever give Naruto anything like this. Ever. I might be a rich kid, but Father doesn't exactly let me roll in the money.

"Let me show you something." He reached his hands over, he did something to the area surrounding the clock face, and the watch popped open. I couldn't see what the compartment had because his hand hid it. I could feel Naruto watching my face as he pulled his hand away.

It was a picture of my mom. Smiling into the camera, holding me in her hands and in small cursive letters above her, these words were written; _Love is not just in your heart, it's in your soul_.

Just like she used to say, Naruto spoke up, "I got the picture and words from Itachi, I would have known what else to do, so this gift is partly from both of us...so this is what it looks like when you really cry?"

"Shut-up." I mumbled, punching him in the stomach, feeling myself bite my lip as I stared at her picture. Where did he get this? I thought…I thought Father burned them all away or something. "You're both jerks for making me cry on my birthday twice."

"Sorry." Naruto said, sounding a little worried, but I started to laugh a little, and then he was laughing to and he knew that I really liked it, even if it made me an emotional wreck.

Then just like that he goes from laughing with me, to doing something I never imagined, but have experienced once before.

He's putting his arms around my waist.

He's leaning in, his smile fading, his eyes digging into mine.

He's giving me a kiss. And this time he's completely sober. It's a boring way to say that, I know, but as my wide shocked eyes stared up into a window with Itachi's form shadowing through, that is literally what I thought.

Not magical in the least, cue the crickets and glue your hands to the chair.

I shoved him off, panic rising in my chest, "Naruto! What the hell are you doing?" Then I stormed inside, slamming the door behind me, and then I went upstairs, slammed some more doors, and fell on my bed completely exhausted.

Happy Birthday….Sasuke?

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**THANKS FOR HANGING ON THERE! I have to admit this chapter wasn't my favorite, its alright, I feel like I was on something the whole time I was writing it. So idk if its any good XD But you guys need a post and I have something to post so why be unfair? **

**ALRIGHT! On to chapter ten…..**


	10. Chapter 10

**Yay I actually like this chapter more than Nine! But I'm a sucker for Itachi and he gets to talk a lot in this one. SO THANKS FOR REVIEWS AND PLENTY OF FAVORITES AND BLAH!**

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Chapter Ten: To Love You

Love has to be the worst agony ever experienced to the soul.

I don't know if I want to kill him or…hug him…as I watch him standing at the classroom door, pretending to look right past him and into a non-existent background. Well actually, a background did exist, it was just filled with lockers and a few giggling girls taking their time to leave school.

"Sasuke." I slammed the book that was open at my desk, closing my eyes so I didn't have to look at him begging for me to give him some sort of chance. "Oh come on! Just listen to me! It's hard okay! What did you expect for me to do?"

I could feel myself pause for a second to think about what he said, he's right I know exactly how hard it is. I understand that admitting feelings for someone of the same sex, who has proclaimed that he will never be a "homo", and used to beat the living crap out of you and you have to live with him temporarily can be the most difficult thing in the world next to giving birth, being attached to Pink Bitch, killing your own child, and eating strawberry flavored condoms for the rest of your life.

About the condom thing, I had to taste one as a dare in middle school; I had some weird friends then. (I have actually never tried one, I've only heard that they are gross, but now I think I might out of curiosity? Hmmm…..XD)

Giving him the silent treatment almost seems unreasonable, even though I kind of enjoy watching him squirm to be honest. But damn, at this rate I have to apologize and then apologizing means that I was wrong and I am never wrong except for when it comes to Naruto apparently. But to admit it, I don't know if my pride can allow that.

I can't apologize at all.

I failed to the last time, even though I should have, I ended up eating ramen with Naruto for dinner, leaving Itachi with what would have been dinner and all was forgiven or forgotten. But there isn't a way to do that this time. There isn't any other way for me to apologize.

Well sure there is Sasuke, you could just…I don't know….say it?

I let out a sigh, pushing past a confused Naruto and walking out of the building alone. Suddenly I have the urge to tell him that this wasn't him it was me, and not in some weird cheesy break up line, but for real because my pride will not allow me to break my stupid silent treatment.

When I came home, Itachi was sitting at the kitchen table and Naruto was nowhere in sight, probably somewhere out with his friends avoiding me on Itachi's order. It was almost like he was waiting for me. No wait, scratch that he was waiting for me. I could tell from the glint in his eye as he laid eyes on me. He sent Naruto out for another reason than to let me cool off, there are things we still have to talk about.

Go away Itachi; I'm not interested in being humiliated anymore. I can't handle it.

I tried to slide away, but Itachi reeled me in with a sentence, "Sasuke, it would be unusual for you to run."

"Why do you say that?" I questioned, I didn't give him the satisfaction of sitting down at the table with him. He stirred his cup of coffee, eying the seat next to him and then drawing his eyes toward me. I sighed again, sitting down ready to escape at any moment, "Why do you say that Itachi?"

"Because, you've always questioned things, ever since you were little and I know that you have always questioned things about me." Itachi answered, pausing to sip his coffee. He must be drinking it in the middle of the afternoon because of a hard time at work; it can't be helped considering our Father is his boss. "And now that I have just begun to answer them, you don't want to hear them. You've been running away and that's never been your style."

"It's never been your style to answer questions Itachi, maybe I should question that." I answered back; if he wants to pick and probe at me then I have every right to do the same thing right back. Does he not understand that I don't want to talk about something that only happened once a long time ago? I want to move on already.

"I know what you don't want to talk about, and I'm not going to talk about _it_. I'm going to talk about me and you." Itachi said, seeming to read my mind. Ass, why the hell would he not start off with that? I would have listened sooner.

"Fine. Talk. But if you even mention _it_, I'm leaving." I leaned back in my chair, waiting for him to start but he took his time, stirring his coffee around in his stupid favorite cup like he had all the time in the world. "Are you going to talk?"

"Have you ever wondered why I haven't moved out yet?" Itachi asked I shrugged in response; I've always assumed it was because Father would threaten to fire him if he did. "It's because of you. I didn't want to leave you alone, in case you ever needed me. But, I couldn't even look at you, because I was guilty."

He was trying to avoid mentioning _it_ like I warned, but he didn't have to talk about _it_ for me to know what he was talking about. That he was guilty because of what happened to me, and ashamed that there was nothing he could do about _it_ when his goal has always been to be there for me. That would explain why he would never even make eye contact with me, how he would try to make small talk sometimes even when I thought it was a waste of time. Or at least that's what I used to imagine that's what it was, when I still thought that our family could somehow reconcile in my dreams. Then as I got older, I realized how stupid the whole idea was and thought that if Itachi had seen, then he was probably disgusted by me or maybe me and Father, and not just me.

But Itachi looked at me now, his eyes burning into me, hoping that I got the right idea and not the bitter one that has been stuck in my head for years. "You didn't have anything to be guilty about, you were young and mom died and we were both just, lost. Maybe we all were. You were still kind of a kid yourself."

"Wow. That seems like a fair judgment, I didn't realize you could think that way." Itachi commented, taking a sip of his coffee and returning it to its place. "I understand what you mean, but I still should have done something sooner, even if I was lost and confused I should have just taken you and ran. I would have figured something out."

"Wow that was an incredibly hurtful statement." I commented back, but for some reason we both kind of laughed about it. I wasn't insulted, instead I felt lighter, I wish so much that nothing happened and that we could have been this close sooner. The thing is, even if Itachi had taken me back then, Father would have found us anyway one way or another. Nothing would have been different.

"I assume it's something you picked up from Naruto." I felt my face fall and Itachi giving me a look of knowing. I sighed again; I set my elbow on the table and eased my chin on my hand. "What's going on?"

"You know what's going on, I saw you in the window." This information didn't seem to surprise Itachi at all; he smoothly set down his spoon on the table and continued on.

"That's not what I asked. I asked, what's wrong? " Itachi continued. What did he mean? Was he seriously asking me what was wrong with a relationship between me and Naruto? "What's wrong?"

"I….nothing." I peeked over at him to see his reaction, his face was stoic but I could tell my answer wasn't at all satisfying. That's all I saw before I looked away and into the kitchen. Where is Naruto shouldn't he be back by now? I don't want him to hear any of this.

"Sasuke. Can I ask you another question?" His cup was empty now; I didn't notice him take another sip, and I didn't notice the silence that was growing before he broke it.

"Yeah sure. What?" I said, bracing myself for his next question. I can tell from the look on his face that it's something not easy to say.

"Do you remember when Mom was still alive, and I picked you up from school one day, you were teasing some poor little boy about something he did or said and everyone else was minding their own business like nothing was going on? I was going to get on to you for being a bully and then, that's when I realized that you weren't really picking on him. You were just teasing him, and he was teasing you right back in a playful sort of way." He paused, pushing the cup away from him; I watched the spoon slightly slide around the inside of the cup with a fake interest because my ears were focusing on every word as the memories of the old days flooded back to me. "So when you got in the car, I asked you who it was and you said 'Who that weird kid? That's Naruto!' and I said, 'Why are you picking on him? That's mean, you shouldn't do that!' and you said, 'But! It's the only way I can talk to him Itachi! Every time I try to be nice to him it comes out wrong and then I can't talk anymore because the words don't come out right! So I have to be mean!' and I laughed about it, and it bothered you so much you didn't speak to me for the rest of five minutes."

"No." I answered, reaching out to play with the spoon; Itachi didn't seem to hear me as he continued.

"Yeah, and I told you 'Well if this Naruto is weird then why are you worried about being weird right back? He would probably think it was normal to be that way. So just apologize and try to be friends.' And you were giving me the silent treatment for the rest of the car ride until we got to the house, five minutes later, and then just when you got to out of the car you turned to me and said 'Maybe that will work, I'll try it.' Unfortunately I don't know if you ever did apologize or not, because Mom got really sick later that week and we didn't have a chance to talk before hand, then slowly we just…..well you know."

"Yeah, I do know." We all became focused on her and her only.

"Just one more question." Itachi said, tapping his fingers on the wooden table. "I know how stubborn you can be, and I know that Naruto isn't the problem. And I know that you said not to mention _it_, I just want you to know that you shouldn't be ashamed. Take some time to yourself and do some soul searching maybe. Because one moment doesn't make up a life, and you are the soul controller of your universe, all I want is for you to make good memories for yourself from now on okay?"

"Where did you get that from a book?" Is he crazy? Well…he does have a bit of a point…but…."I guess I should try."

"Yeah I hope you do. And yes, I did kind of get it from a book in the library. The librarian was extraordinarily unhelpful I don't know why you like it there so much." I let out a small laugh, but then his face became serious again, drawing me in, "Just one more thing…..I quit my job, and got another one. I'm working on you…coming to live with me… in my new apartment against our Fathers wishes."

"What?" What? That's completely crazy, I just….What? "Do you think it's possible for you to win?"

"Maybe." I don't believe it, Itachi and Father fighting over me, and Itachi might win? But Itachi might not, he never has before and then what do I do? "Don't focus too much on it, just trust me okay."

"Do I have any other choice?" I asked, feeling the pressure of a weight rocking on my chest, the bliss of a release of pressure and the horrible experience of it crushing me within moments of each other.

"Sorry, but no, now go do your soul searching somewhere and just for once let me take care of you. The way I want to." I didn't know what else to do but listen; the whole situation seems to be out of my hands now.

As for soul searching, how the hell does a person do that?

I started by staring at the cat. I know it's kind of a weird way to get focused, but it was another problem bugging me anyway. "Saruto! Come here!"

Saruto clawed at my bedroom door, meowing as if all it wanted to do was escape. Did I step on his tail? What did I do? I sighed, shoving my face into my pillow and started the thinking process.

I thought I got pass the whole "I'm not ever going to be a homo" thing. Or maybe, I got passed it because I thought he liked Pink Bitch. Because I could admit that I liked him as long as I didn't have to actually form a relationship with him beyond friendship. As fucked up as it sounds, considering it's from my own head I know it's the right answer.

I still think it's kind of sick for me to want him, considering my past.

Itachi is right, I can't let that one memory control me forever. No matter how horrible that memory is, or what it did to me, if I let it dictate then what am I doing? I'm just losing my life.

Not that I have much of a life anyways.

AH! Focus! No pity parties today! Just think! I hit myself in the head, the cat hissed, and then all was silent even in my thoughts for just a moment.

You know, I wonder what allows people to talk to themselves. I mean do mute people and stuff have thoughts where they hear a voice in their head? I don't know…I'm going to have to ask the sign language kid.

Woah wait, I got way off track.

Back up, Naruto and I in a romantic relationship, go thought process! Alright, so when girls….have the same issue…do they stop dating guys or switch to women? Not all the time, sometimes they do, but not all the time! I mean we can't help what happens to us right? So maybe going out with Naruto isn't a big deal, well not as big as I'm making it and oh god this is going nowhere.

I sighed into my pillow.

What I really need to think about is an apology. How do I say, Naruto I'm sorry I'm such a freak and that you like me, and I like you, I do, even like that, in that way, but we can't ever, ever have a relationship.

Yeah, that's a no go.

Suddenly I hear the door open and I freeze, I don't want to know who it is, even though I already have an idea. "Sasuke?"

It's a name, not a form of a question, why can't people get that by now? I remained silent, my face in the pillow staring into the darkness of my eyelids.

"I know your mad, and I wish that I had just told you sooner, but then all these things happened and you made it clear that you would never like guys….and….uhh…." there was a pause, but I could hear him playing with the door, swinging it back and forth while he leaned on the frame. Not that I could tell you that because I was peeking out from an open space in the pillow and my arm or anything…just a guess. "We don't have to do anything; I mean we don't have to…..be a couple."

This is it. A perfect out, a freedom gateway and yet I'm not running for it.

I do remember the day that Itachi was talking about. I had the hardest time talking to Naruto, when I wanted to be nice I would always be the opposite and when I tried to apologize it was worse. I would accidently shove him off the swing set when I meant to push him, little things like that and eventually I thought I was just inherent for me to not like him. Today, I'm in high school and even though many things have changed that's one thing that hasn't.

But it's not like I poisoned his ramen the last time I had an apology attempt. But then again that was different considering I didn't actually have to say the words. I stood up and shot myself down in two sentences.

I could actually feel Naruto's eyes on me now, I didn't want him to leave, but at the same time what do I do?

COME ON SASUKE! YOU CAN DO THIS!

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2

3

4!

Nothing.

ALRIGHT AGAIN!

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2

3

4!

I shot my head up suddenly, surprising Naruto who nearly hurt himself on the door frame…..and said nothing. I just stared at him, and he stared back at me…."Sasuke?"

It's a name not a question!

Alright, THRID TIMES A CHARM LETS GO SASUKE!

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2

3

4!

"I'm sorry, why are you so stupid!"….well that's about half way, I realized I had closed my eyes when I yelled. I was almost afraid of what I would see when I opened them, but it was still same old surprised Naruto.

"What did I do this time?" It was weird, he seemed almost overjoyed, he came in my room closing the door behind him and sat on my floor. "What did I do?"

I closed my eyes again, just talk! Even if it sounds stupid and makes me want to die all I have to do is talk. "BECAUSE first you were talking about porno girls and then you were all like SAKURA SAKURA SAKURA and you got mad at me because she was flirting with me, and then we kissed but we were kind of tipsy and you told me it didn't count? Stupid!" I took a deep breath, opening my eyes to stare at a wide eyed Naruto.

"So we did those things…to each other?" Naruto said, tilting his head to the side. "We psyched each other out?"

"Yeah. Kind of." I answered, "So we were both stupid, I mean mostly you, but I was to a little bit."

"Does that mean you'll date me? And I got mad, first at Sakura but then at you because she didn't know that I liked you and I wanted you guys to at least get along, but then you said those things…I just got mad!" That kind of makes sense I guess.

"Sure. I'll go out with you." It's kind of weird to say that, we both sat in our places for a bit after doing tons of speed talking, processing how we even came to this moment.

I just agreed to be Naruto's boyfriend?

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**ALRIGHT! If you like this story please check out Not so Different! I need reviews on that one T-T I have the NEXT chapter written on that one I just have mixed emotions about posting on that story, because I haven't received much feedback (its understandable since i hardly update it to begin with and it has like two chapters XD) THANK YOU! ELEVEN HASN'T BEEN STARTED YET BUT IM WORKING ON IT! (17 has though, so 16 and 17 will probably come out together.)**


	11. Chapter 11

**SHORT CHAPTER! Thanks for reviews, favs, and etc! I can't believe I have only 7 chapters left of this T-T Its going to be sad when I post chapter 18, I'm going to cry harder than a mother sending her kid off to pre-school in another country with German polar bears! They don't even speak English!**

**Anyway enough with my crazy, sleep deprived ..craziness, ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

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**Chapter Eleven: To Save You**

"Rules! We need rules." I stated to Naruto who was still sitting on the floor. After getting over the whole, "I have a boyfriend thing", we both decided to talk about how we are going to handle this with the outside world, which unfortunately is still not zombie infested.

Zombies mind their own business when it comes to romantic relationships, but sometimes they accidently kill the mood.

"Why do we need rules? Why don't we just figure out a way to tell them?" Naruto said, jumping the gun as usual. "You aren't ashamed right?"

"No, it's not that." I'm not going to lie to myself though; this is harder for me than I thought it was going to be. Feelings don't go away in a day, it can't be helped, but I don't regret admitting…things…to Naruto. "We just need to find the right time to tell them so that no one gets hurt, and I need to get used to being your attachment, I've gotten used to you being around me almost every second but not in the same way. I'm a solitary creature; it's going to take at least a week for me to get settled in a new relationship."

"Only a week?" Naruto said with a positive smile, obviously expecting longer.

"I'm solitary and adaptable. You're lucky." I threw a pillow at his face, crossing my legs to think while he stumbled around with the soft cushion because the case got stuck on his head. Sometimes I wish I had a camera handy at all times for this kind of stuff, mostly when Naruto acts like a total loser. I waited for him to get it off before continuing. "Rule one; no mushy stuff at all! Don't pout it was going to be a rule anyway. Rule two; DON'T TELL ANYONE! I know how bad you can be about that when you are excited, but I swear if you tell, I will break up with you! Rule three; Itachi can't know yet either, he won't have a problem with it I just don't want him to know. Rule four; No public displays of affection, I know I already said no mushy stuff, but I feel the need to repeat it. That's it for now. You have any? "

"Yeah!" Naruto said, leaning forward and excited face spreading across his features, "Rule Five; after the announcement I get to do whatever I want with you in public, excluding rape! Rule Six; you have to go on a date with me, and pay at each place with fake monopoly money, then make a big deal about it claiming that its real money, until I pay for it. And I get to record it."

I sighed, relationships are all about balance right? Some shit like that? "Fine."

"WHOO!" Naruto celebrated, jumping up from the ground. "I can't wait to tell everyone! N-not that I'm going to tell anyone now or anything Sasuke…"

"You better hope so." I waved him away, gesturing to the door as I said, "Now go away! I have to go to sleep!"

He sighed; doing something unexpected as he suddenly bounced forward and placed a kiss on my cheek. I reacted quickly, throwing a pillow in his direction which he dodged as he ran for the door. He stuck his tongue out at me, and my embarrassing burning face, and then shut the door behind him, calling "goodnight" through the door.

"Asshole!" I called back falling onto my bed.

Sleep came easy.

The rest of the week was weird, Naruto was struggling to contain our new relationship and I was struggling against him to force him off of me at home. The moment we were behind closed doors, BOOM he was on me. I felt bad about kneeing him in the balls the first time it happened, but trust me the guilt is lessening every day. The worst thing is it's not a normal weekend; it's a holiday weekend with parades and people everywhere. That means my knee is going to get a work out.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called through my door, "I promise! I'm not going to do anything! I'm sorry!''

"Liar!" I called back, continuing my search on the internet for Naruto's upcoming birthday; I want to get him something special like he did for me, something special and very, very expensive. "Those hands of yours have perverted minds of their own!"

"That's not true Sasuke!" Naruto called through the door, obviously thinking of what else to say to convince me to let him in. Sorry Naruto, but I need some privacy time to do this.

"Then it's you alone who has the perverted mind, forcing your limbs to do horrid perverted acts, you should be ashamed!" I called back, continuing my search. I heard him call out in frustration and nearly died from trying to contain my laughter. This is kind of fun.

"Sasuke~!" Naruto whined through the door, "Don't lock me out forever! Please! I want to invite you to go to the parade with me and everybody today!"

"A parade?" I answered, slamming my laptop computer and rushing for the door. I opened it, causing Naruto to fall forward into my knee; he rubbed his hurt shin while glaring at my joint. I smiled down at him, "I want to go."

After a quick rush of getting dressed, meeting half the gang, shoving a Pink Bitch off my arms in the process of her greeting and meeting up with the rest of the gang we were firmly placed so that we could see the oncoming parade.

I love parades. The loud music is the best part, the way the music pounds your body, soaking into your skin so that you feel it even in your teeth and it's almost as if you can taste the exciting energy of the music swirling all around you, it swells into your senses. Laughter tickles your ears, smells of treats and sweets beckon from the nose, eyes are darting everywhere and anywhere, back and forth, for here to there. Searching for something and anything! A glimpse, a shadow, a giant, a spec! Children swarm like bees to the honey, showing the energy that I feel and yet no longer express. They are hunting! Grabbing! Stealing! Sharing! Expressing characteristics and abilities all in a glimpse of a moment than hardly anyone expresses in a day.

And then just like that it's gone.

The streets clear out, and the floats are carried away, and then it's just me and Naruto standing on the street waiting for traffic to clear away pulling me back from getting lost in the moment. "Where did everyone else go to?"

"I don't really know? I know that Kiba said he was going to find somewhere else to sit and watch, but that's all I remember." He winked and nudged me with his elbow, "I got him to drag Sakura with him."

"If we weren't in public I would kiss you." I smiled, he smiled back leaning closer and I know what he's going to say before he says it because I'm just that fantastic.

"Well how about you just kiss me anyway since no one is around." I scuffed, crossing my arms and turning my head away. He pouted, his eyes growing a bit wider and catching my attention. He does this stuff on purpose.

"No." I firmly voice, "I'm not even going to risk that."

"Come on!" Naruto pleaded, wrapping his arm around my waist and drawing me closer. I didn't push him away; I just kept my arms folded. I have my limits to, I'm not that fantastic. "Please~!"

I looked into his eyes, wondering what the hell I was waiting for. No one is around, and Naruto hasn't put his hands on me all day, except for right now. Leaned in, giving him a quick peck on the lips before pulling back. He moved his hands to the sides of my face and pulled me back into anther kiss.

Then suddenly Naruto jerked back, a loud thud ringing from the air and something melted landed on the both of us. "WHAT THE HELL NARUTO!"

It was Pink Bitch, who really was all that annoying until now. Behind her everyone was watching with shocked faces as she freaked out, Ino looked horrified, it kind of made me want to laugh but considering the situation I decided that wouldn't be the best option.

"Sakura." Naruto said in a serious tone, I've decided I like that voice of his like that, I shook my head wondering how I became so open to having these thoughts. "I…"

"JUST SHUT UP!" Then she practically ran away, probably to her car, tears streaking down her face. I felt a bit guilty in that moment, what happened to her is something I imagined happening to me a hundred times. Not that in those thoughts, I ever even dreamed of throwing Ice cream at people and running away, but it's the feeling I imagined of seeing someone I like with someone else.

So to really feel it, I wonder how horrible that must be.

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**SPECIAL THANKS TO BEARHUMPINGHONEYEATINGSLAPPER! MY NEW BETA/ BEST FRIEND(well not new….we've been friends a while now XD since we were 'younglings' in the middle school)! ANYway, thanks for reading!**

**Oh also, I'm withholding chapter twelve until I get some reviews -_O cause I'm just so crazy I've already completed it and chapter thirteen.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: To complete You**

"What do you mean this isn't real money!" I complained to the cashier, "I earned this! Every day I worked hard for this money right here! What the hell is this are you fucking around with me?"

Naruto laughed from his seat at the table, recording us from a little ways away, that asshole found a loop hole in his rules. He didn't break one, because he didn't tell anyone, so now I have to pay for everything on this stupid date with monopoly money.

"That isn't money!" the poor cashier insisted, "Is there something wrong with you? Do you have any other type of money you can pay me with?"

"What do you mean 'other type of money'? This is the only type of money!" I through my hands up in the air, slamming my hand on the counter for a little extra performance, "I want to see a manager, go get me a manager?"

"Excuse me." Naruto said, coming up at the sound of Manager, our "I've run out of time to mess with this guy" call word. "I'm really sorry, I'll pay! Sasuke, why don't you go wait for me in the car?"

"Whatever!" I said walking out of the building, listening to Naruto explain away about some mental disease crap. I took a breath and sung my greeting, "See you in hell stupid cashier!"

I could have argued against this, but after our earlier run in with Sakura, Naruto needed some major cheering up. So even if it makes me look like a huge idiot, I'm willing to do it for him. Naruto walked out, pausing on the way to the car, gripping his knees, and laughing hysterically into the ground before finishing his walk to the car.

"That was priceless!" He commented, smiling at me, "I can't wait to show everyone!"

I watched his face fall a bit as the thought of his friends flashed in his mind, and I knew that in the very heart of that flash was Pink Bitch herself. I reached over, taking his hand away from the wheel and clutching it in my hands, rubbing them as tenderly as possible and didn't say anything.

Suddenly Naruto leaned in, winking at me, and I knew that he has once again repressed his feelings for just a moment in order to feel like normal. "Your sexy you know that? But it intensifies with your soft touch."

I shoved his hands away, feeling a bit irritated about my soft hands. "If you want soft hands, why not switch to women?"

"Oh. It's because I like flat chests and pretty faces and you happen to have both of things, more flat and pretty than any girl I've ever seen." He laughed, reaching over and brushing across my chest, I shoved his hand away trying not to let any sign of laughter show on my face. "Plus your personality is a bonus, I love that whole I'm-Sexy-but-I-also-think-I'm-tough-shit look."

"You're wrong." I said as he started the car, cool air rushing in my face, "I happen to know I'm tough shit thank you very much Naruto. But it's nice to know that if I ever die and you feel lonely you can start really dating Sakura."

"No way, she's at least a B cup." Naruto answered, and then he turned to me as we pulled out of the restaurant, "Right?"

"I bet you anything, she stuffs." I answered, Naruto frowned, probably feeling upset about making fun of Sakura right now, so I added, "But I'm not exactly a boob expert as Kiba or someone.", which made him feel a little better.

When we arrived home, Itachi was buried in papers at the kitchen table. I shook him awake, "Itachi, go to bed and read the rest of this later."

"Hmm…" he grumbled, drowsily standing and walking up the stairs. I looked at Naruto who was quietly studying the papers with interest.

"Can you tell what these papers are about?" I asked, looking at some near me, but it all seemed like a bunch of random lettering on a page when I read it.

"No." Naruto answered, searching through the papers with care, "It all seems to be….gibberish? I don't know, you're the one with the legal family?"

"Trust me." I answered, shuffling through more papers, "That doesn't seem to be helping."

"Well. I'm going to go to bed. Night." He said, kissing me on the cheek once again when he could just kiss me on the lips. I don't know why he likes it so much? Not that….I don't like…it's just….what the hell am I doing? I don't have to explain myself at all! It's just me that's it, accept it, get over it, and get off of it!

The next day Sakura was blasting Naruto's phone with phone calls, apparently after a quick talk with some of her girlfriends and a whole night of blowing out her nose and cussing out horror movie chicks for being too stupid. Or at least that's just what I would do, but knowing her is probably something retarded like some sappy romantic movie about unrequited love.

Anyway, moving on, so she tells Naruto that she is not angry with him for 'stealing Sasuke away' from her and she forgives, and all this crap.

I don't know what to say? What is there to forgive Naruto for when he hasn't done anything wrong? I clearly rejected her, did I not? But no matter what I say, Naruto still feels guilty and therefore allows Sakura to just walk over him by apologizing to her and doing whatever else she wants that's supposedly going to make things better.

Later that week when we saw Sakura for the first time after the ice cream disaster, she smiled and gave Naruto a hug before glaring at me with cold daggers over his shoulder, I smiled and waved back, shoving her off Naruto because she was taking way to long with that hug and it was starting to get on my nerves. Then I dragged a confused Naruto away to class. So that's how she want to play it…I thought.

And she was playing; the rest of the week Sakura and I were in a heated battle for Naruto's affection and attention. But I won; every round and that infuriated her to no end. I was at war with the Pink Bitch, and I'm not going to lie it felt awesome to completely humiliate her.

"Naruto~!" She called, coming in for the second round of the day with a retarded pout slapped on her face, "I need help arranging tables in the classrooms for testing! The teachers assigned me and Ino to do it, but we're just a bunch of girls and the tables are heavy."

"Really?" I said, stepping in before Naruto could say anything, "But you're pretty strong, stronger than any girl, one could say you have the strength of a… man."

"That's true! Sakura really is strong! One time she got mad at me and lifted a whole table and flipped it." Naruto added, not realizing how insulted Pink Bitch was at his remark he continued to blab on. "Oh and this one time, she slapped me so hard, because we were at the beach and I dropped my sun glasses near the changing tents, and when I bent down to get them she thought I was trying to peek on her, which is weird because I didn't even notice that she was in there in the first place…"

On and on and on, I smirked at her as her face burned with anger and embarrassment, personally I have no problem with strong women but if it's a problem for her I'll gladly push all the buttons I can. I shrugged at her and answering through Naruto's blabbing, "I'm sure a manly woman like you will have no problem lifting tables."

She huffed, storming away to do her manly work as a teacher's assistant. Naruto looked at me questioningly, "You aren't being mean to Sakura again are you?"

"No." I answered, grabbing his hand and dragging him out the doors to go back to the house, "Just having some fun."

"Sasuke…!" Naruto said, realizing what I meant exactly, I laughed at him but he didn't get on to me for being mean to his friend or anything, he just shook his head and started that car so we could go home where he would once again try to sexually assault me for the third time that day.

"Sa…!" Naruto cried out, letting out a whine as I shoved him off my bed for the fourth time. He pouted up at me from the floor, "Please! I just want to sleep with you! Just one time~!"

"No." I answered, feeling my face heat up as I shoved covers over my face, "I don't feel comfortable…doing that."

"No!" Naruto said suddenly, I could feel his hands pressing against the edge of the bed but he didn't move any further, I angled my foot for a kick anyway. "It's not like that Sasuke! I mean I want to sleep with you! Like actual sleeping! Not…other stuff…"

I lifted the covers to peek at his face, Naruto stared at me with big eyes a blush formed on his face, "You're a liar, your thinking perverted things already."

"No! Sasuke! How could I not?" Naruto pleaded with me, "Please Sasuke! I don't know when my grandparents are coming! We might not have much longer."

I sat up, looking at Naruto with a questioning face, "Is there something you aren't telling me?"

"Well…"Naruto looked away, "Kakashi called me and said that he was very close to coming in contact with my grandparents and that I should prepare to leave at any moment."

Naruto leaving me, it was always going to happen, but for some reason I just never thought of it. I got so used to having him around me, being with him at almost every moment of the day. A fearful emotion rose up in me and I scooted over, "Get on the bed idiot! Keep your hands to yourself!"

He immediately climbed on blabbering, "By the way, Kiba and I were talking about something to do in a group activity and its going to be so fun! I don't know what we are going to do yet though, but no matter what it is with everyone there it's bound to be really fun! I can't wait Sasuke! To hang out with all our friends again…but hopefully it ends better than last time AH!"

I slapped him hard on the side of his stomach; he had snuggled closer to me, lying on his side, without actually touching me while I lay on my back. Naruto pouted at me, "Sasuke….."

"Go to sleep already!" I answered, sinking into my pillows and looking up at the ceiling, smiling. Naruto feel asleep relatively quickly while I stayed awake, focusing on my new found "friends" and all these sudden activities I have.

When did the world get this way?

It wasn't so long ago, my days of brooding around wondering where the hell my life is going. Wondering what the point of waking up in the morning is, or even living. Now it's as if I just opened my eyes, as if I've just awakened into something beautiful.

I reached over and grasped Naruto's hand and he snuggled closer to me, mumbling something about vengeful ice cream.

The world is a lighter place than I once thought.

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**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I have no idea if I'm writing a SasuNaru or a NaruSasu? I started out with the intentions of SasuNaru but then my story just completely switched out on me, without me realizing it (which sounds crazy but when ur the type of writer I am, stories take a mind of their own)! So now to me it seems to be more NARUSASU (which I have no problem with, I'm actually digging it, but I still think its weird O-o) ESPECIALLY SINCE I JUST REALIZED IT, JUST NOW o-O Honestly I prefer a balance of both NaruSasu and SasuNaru, but ARRHFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS CONFUSING!**

**So tell me, what do you think about this? How does it seem to you? O-O**


	13. Chapter 13

**If you like this chapter, you should really thank Chris Crocker for his music…..big motivation. Thanks for the reviews btw~!**

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**Chapter Thirteen: To Make You**

Itachi is glowing.

I stared at him, not bothering the oatmeal so graciously placed in front of me by the man himself. I stirred it; my spoon didn't stick this time. "What's going on Itachi?"

"I'll have him soon." Itachi said, joining me and Naruto at the table, "Let's just leave things at that for now, and I'll ignore the fact that you two came out of the same room this morning."

Naruto's cheeks went pink and I glared, nothing gets passed this guy does it? But it's not like me and Naruto did anything other than sleeping. But I didn't comment on this, I just rolled my eyes at Naruto. I assume he means our father when he said "I'll have _him _soon", but I find it hard to think that Itachi could beat him. It's never happened, maybe in a fantasy or a dream.

But reality doesn't lie.

Unfortunately Itachi might not be living in reality right now, more like some kind of sleepy delusion. I noticed Naruto watching me from his seat as I shoved the oatmeal in my mouth, his face was serious, very alluring, but I had to wonder what gave him that face while looking at me.

Was he watching for a reaction about Itachi's news? What was it? Then there was Saruto…I could hear him purring beneath the table, but he wasn't near me. I looked under the table to see him rubbing against Itachi's feet, I slowly placed my foot out for him to rub against, but he cringed and ran away.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked me suddenly, Itachi was also looking at me now.

"Saruto." I answered; they exchanged glances before turning back to me.

"Don't worry." Naruto answered, "Maybe he can just sense something of a change on you and isn't quite sure about it or something like that."

"Wow that was almost smart." I replied, trying to lighten up. He dropped his spoon, splattering oatmeal on the table.

"What's that Sasuke?!" Naruto complained as I laughed, he's such a dork. "Why are you so mean?"

"Just eat your breakfast." I replied, picking up my spoon to shove more oatmeal in my mouth. We finished the meal in silence, well me and Itachi did while pretending to listen to Naruto ramble on about his sports practice coming up or something like that. Apparently he was pumped for it.

However during class he was back to watching me from afar, an anxious face present on him now, then suddenly I remembered him talking about his grandparents. A topic I was trying to forget, anyway is it possible that he's not telling me something still?

I resolved to confront him about it on the way home, and just let him continue on with his creepy staring until he was satisfied.

After school was over, we walked to the car together in silence as I prepped myself to pounce. I was the first to get in the car, so I had to wait for Naruto to go around and get in. There was a slight pause as Naruto played with his keys before I resolved to speak.

"So…" we both had to pause, having spoken at the same time.

"You go first." Naruto said, breaking a brief moment of eye contact with me to stare at his keys again.

"No you, there's really no point in me talking if you're going to say something'' I answered, he let out an annoyed sound and turned to me again.

"Come on! Just say what you want to say!" Naruto pleaded pointing at me, I smacked his hand away lightly.

"I'm telling you there's no point!" I yelled, "Because I was just going to ask what it was you want to say to me, since you've been staring at me all damn day like a horrible fucking stalker who doesn't know how to properly hide behind trees and shit!"

I was talking to fast, so I had to breathe during a pause as Naruto processed what I had to say. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh!" I replied, "Now talk!"

His keys jingled in his fingers as he played with them, I felt kind of guilty about yelling at him now but there was no way I could take it back at this point. Then finally he said it, "I….I got a message from Kakashi today….see he actually told me that he was close to finding my grandparents like….four or so days ago…..so….he found them."

It felt like a ton of bricks hit me. I already knew he was going to leave, but for some reason…I wasn't expecting it this soon. He seemed to expect me to get mad or something, but honestly another feeling overcame that possibility…..a sort of…lonely feeling. "When are you going then…?"

He reached over and grasped my hand, making eye contact with this sorry look on his face, "Tomorrow."

No way. No way.

It rang through my head all through dinner, and doing homework, and listening to music with Naruto. Even if I acted the same, even if we were having fun doing our everyday activities…today is the last day I have to do these things with him.

But it was the worst that night in bed; we both kind of laid there without really sleeping, but stayed in silence. Naruto was thinking about the same thing I was, separating.

It seems almost too unreal.

Eventually I did fall asleep, only to wake up alone in the bed. That bastard is leaving me already! Suddenly a voice started talking, and I'm not going to lie it scared the fuck out of me at first.

"Hey Sasuke, Itachi said we could skip today." Naruto, that bastard, he made me think he was gone when he was really just messing around on my…computer.

I shot up out of bed and rushed to his side, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing? Just playing a game?" Naruto commented, raising an eyebrow at my reaction. You don't understand Naruto, the perfect birthday gift is bookmarked on my browser, if you get curious and click on it then you'll ruin it!

I'm paranoid aren't I? Yeah, yeah I am.

I stared him down, "Have you used the internet?"

Naruto's face went from questioning my sanity, to devious, "Do you have some porn on here you don't want me to see or something?"

"MAYBE!" I answered in a joking tone, "Sexy men with dark hair and big brown eyes, big muscles and hair on their chests. How's that?"

Naruto looked down at himself, "Hey! Why'd you pick all the opposite characteristics of me for your fake porn?!"

"Because I'm a tease." I answered, "Can't help it, now get off the computer so we can start packing your stuff together."

He mad sort of a sad face at the mention of packing, "What if I don't want to."

"Who says I want to, we just have to do what we have to do don't we?" I answered, but the words didn't come from me very easily. In all honesty, I wish I could just tell him to fuck it all, just do what he wants to do, but legally it just wasn't possible at the moment.

Naruto studied my face, his serious look drawing me in, he seemed to resolve something by staring at me. Suddenly, he leaned forward, placing a light affectionate kiss on the area around my lips, barely grazing my bottom lip, before he stood up and left the room.

He understood.

And I understood.

There was no going back in this moment; it was really just as I said. We have to do, what we have to do. The process of packing was carried on in a slightly more normal fashion. I complained about Naruto's dirty clothes, he tried to grope me, I let him for 4 seconds and then kicked him off, and then we tried lifting heavy objects together which turned into a dare resulting in Band-Aids for Naruto. It was overall a bitter sweet ordeal.

But nothing could begin to compare to saying good-bye.

We have never said good-bye before; we've never had to because we were always going to end up in the same place. But I guess not this time.

Kakashi had arrived for Naruto about two hours after lunch; he waited patiently in the car for Naruto while we stood in my front doorway.

"I'll still see you at school tomorrow." Naruto said, trying to lighten the situation, "and we can still hang out on weekends together. I can drive and if something happens to my car, I'll just hot-wire Kiba's and tell him I witnessed a suspicious guy in a fur coat lingering around his vehicle. "

"Yeah, the fur coat will really work for sure, Kiba can't stand that." I answered, "You have to come spend the night sometime to, maybe every weekend."

Naruto visibly blushed, "Does that mean….you want to progress a little further….Sasuke?"

"I…. meant actual sleeping!" I felt my face heat up, the sickening feeling of embarrassment burning my insides, Naruto's face seemed to fall a little. I wonder if he thinks that I…"But….maybe….just a little…if I feel…what we are talking about right now! Just hug me already and leave!"

Naruto smiled, before bear-hugging me and then turning to literally run to the car. I guess he just decided to get it over with quickly. I couldn't help but laugh at how strange our entire conversation for a "good-bye" was. It's just typical that it couldn't be normal.

It was easier for both of us in that moment though, I thought Naruto would have more difficulty. Or maybe he really said goodbye that day, earlier in my room when he was on the computer.

Maybe I did to.

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YAY! Alright here's the deal, I've kind of been working backwards on this story...O-o I've been writing around chapter 16-18 without realizing that I haven't even started on chapter 14 XD (well i have now but...not then...) So those updates will come ALOT sooner than these are going right now XD


	14. Chapter 14

**HEY! Another chapter and so soon! it can only be the END OF THE WORLD :D...why the smiley? Idk. Anyway, the closer we approach the end the more exited I get~! plz review~!**

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**Chapter Fourteen: To Miss You**

Naruto is gone.

I woke up the next day to that inevitable silence, a dead silence that one only hears when they are alone. It took me longer than usual to turn off my alarm, or even get out of bed to get ready for school. Perhaps the idea that I can come to terms with my "good-bye" to Naruto was just a pure delusion.

I walked downstairs, entering the kitchen to hear the sounds of Itachi doing something in the kitchen. He's really been getting better at cooking lately.

"Where are you going?" Itachi asked, gesturing to all of me lazily with a spatula.

"School?" I replied sarcastically, did lack of sleep officially fry his brain?

"Naruto's absence has really affected you so much?" Itachi commented, flipping some eggs in the pan, he studied me for a second when I didn't reply, "It's Saturday, yesterday was Friday. Remember?"

Clearly, I didn't remember at all Itachi. I would say that, but at the moment I just don't feel like it. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I decided to return to my room to be depressed. "Breakfast will be done soon, don't brood to long."

"Shut-up!" I yelled back, before closing my bedroom door. I'm not brooding…honestly I just feel like I'm being stupid. It's not like Naruto is totally gone, just because he's not around every second doesn't mean he's gone forever.

I sat down at my computer, deciding that I should think of something to curb my growing stupidity. That's when I heard it…a strange beeping noise.

I looked around my room, it sounded familiar, but what was it? It went off again, this time is sounded like it was coming from the area around my dresser. I stood up, walked over to the dresser and looked on the floor around it. Nothing.

It went off again.

But this time I saw what it was. Sitting on top of my dresser, hooked up to a long forgotten charger was my phone. I haven't used my phone in a while, and since the battery is charged the beeping has to be from a message.

Was it my Father? My Father is the only one with this number. What day does he come home again on the weekends? Is it about him coming home? Oh my god, if he does come home I haven't cleaned anything in his room in a while. The counters haven't been cleaned since two days ago, and the carpet downstairs hasn't been vacuumed yet.

Realizing that it was taking me too long to reply, I picked up the phone and flipped up the screen. The message read "I stole your number yesterday. You didn't tell me you had a phone! Why not? Well I forgot to tell you yesterday because I was more focused on our other discussion…..anyway, what are you doing this weekend any weird cleaning plans with Itachi?" This clearly wasn't my Father; it was from Naruto who had put his number in my phone as UrSExyMAN. What a dork.

The fear I had stopped as I stared at the screen with a smirk playing on my face. I decided to reply, "No, I don't why? You have any crazy ideas you want to pull me into?"

He replied almost immediately, "Want to come over and meet my grandparents?" I thought about that for a second, meeting my boyfriend's family is exciting and yet totally nerve racking.

Wow, never in a million years did I think I would every say that.

"Sure." I replied, "Pick me up whenever; I'll be here at the house." Which knowing Naruto, he'll probably rush right over and pick me up, so by whenever, it really meant "you can come now" for him. I smiled when I didn't even get a reply back as I imagined him rushing to his vehicle to come to my "rescue". He arrived not long after, harassing my doorbell with tons of pounding affection. "Sasuke!" I could hear him call from upstairs. Maybe he's been suffering more than I have and I just don't realize it.

Just to tease him, I stared at him through the window of my door, he glared at me and whined, "Come on! Please open the door?"

I thought about making a semi-sex joke and asking "how do you want me to open the door Naruto" and then he would say, "Put it on the doorknob and twist! Do it now Sasuke!" and then I would reply, "Say please Naruto, demanding boys get punished."

Wow….my thoughts are very messed up….this is what I get for watching that documentary on sexual fetishes the other day with Naruto.

I opened the door; Naruto grabbed me and dragged me out toward his car. He's lucky I already anticipated this.

He was busy, already talking a mile a minute, "My grandparents are so awesome! All they do is fight all the time, but it's entertaining not scary! And my Grandpa is a porn writer! Can you believe that?!"

"Being your significant other, yes I can." I replied, he laughed continuing on with his blabbing.

"They are really good! We should read them, like when we watched that documentary." Naruto commented, I just shook my head too embarrassed to tell Naruto that my mind was already polluted enough.

Eventually we arrived to Naruto's new abode, he leaned in giving me a warning before exiting the car, "Be careful, they aren't really related to me by blood but they adopted my dad, it's kind of a touchy topic for them sometimes so just be careful what you say."

I nodded, exiting the car. Nothing made me more nervous than walking toward the front door of that house, what am I going to do if they don't like me. Has Naruto told them we are together? How much has he told them about me? What kind of people are they?

We entered the very nicely decorated house, with a lived in feeling and yet a well-balanced fashion flare as well. I followed Naruto into the kitchen, where I could smell the aroma of delicious food. Oh crap, I forgot to tell Itachi that I wasn't going to be there…or eat his breakfast.

"These are my grandparents!'', Naruto said gesturing to a large breasted sort of blonde woman, and a man with white hair. "Grandparents, this is Sasuke."

Am I the only one who notices that neither of them seems particularly happy to see me? Or is that just me? I tried my best smile and a small wave, "Hi…"

Nope didn't work even in the slightest bit.

"Hello, come on in and sit down for breakfast." The woman commanded, I sat down next to Naruto, the woman sat next to Naruto at the head of the table, while the man sat beside me on the other end of the table. The way he is eyeing me is making me nervous. "Were you a girl in the past?"

I felt my eyes grow wider, "Wha-What?"

"Have you had any sex change operations?" The man asked again, gesturing to me, "there is no way a guy can be so pretty."

"Uh…." I said, looking over at Naruto who just gave me the thumbs up sign, "thanks?"

"Jiraiya, stop being an idiot and leave the boy alone!" the woman snapped, "He doesn't need to hear any of your craziness so early in the morning."

"Its 11 am, that an almost perfectly acceptable time for craziness." The man replied, "What harm is there in finding out more about a person?"

"There isn't, as long as it's not something stupid!" the woman replied, "Just shut up and eat!"

"Well we can't just eat in silence?!" Jiraiya commented, "At least ask him some considerably appropriate questions."

The woman sighed, turning to me and pointing her fork in my direction, "So how are you in school?"

"Sasuke is smart, was smarter than I am." Naruto pointed out, not letting me answer, she glared at him and he laughed nervously.

"I was asking Sasuke." She said, this woman kind of scares me, but not like my Father it's something different.

"Naruto, stop talking like you're a complete idiot, you are smart in something's." I commented, taking the moment to glare him down to, "But I do get better grades. No sports or anything though, I spend most of my free time at the library."

"Oh really?" She seemed neither impressed nor unimpressed with this information, I can't tell her thoughts at all. Damn, I can't tell how this is all going. "That's a different kind of person for Naruto, I always imagined him with someone different."

So then I guess he has told them that we are together.

She reached over and patted Naruto's arm affectionately, "Good job, I was worried for a second…knowing you…" Naruto continued to make nervous twitches while smiling at me. Apparently I made a good enough impression, but it seems that Naruto would have been in the doghouse otherwise.

The rest of the time at Naruto's new home was very entertaining. His grandparents were vastly talented people with much to share, though personally I think Jiraiya had a little too much to share…and that only caused some entertaining fights with Naruto's grandmother, whose name I never even got the chance to neither ask nor hear. Why couldn't Naruto give a proper introduction? With a full set of names included and everything.

I wonder if I had any grandparents. On the way home I tried to think back to my earliest memories, but it was strange, I could think of anything other than my Mothers face and my Father's hands reaching out at me through the darkness of my youth.

I guess I never met them if I have or had any.

Speaking of family, if you could even consider that as a topic for this, where is my Father? It's so unusual for me not to hear a word from him, and Itachi informed me that he was yet again not coming home. What's that saying? Don't look a gift horse in the mouth? Really what's that even mean, I think I'm wrong, anyway the point is maybe I shouldn't be so concerned with that minor detail?

Yes, I defiantly shouldn't.

I thought about it while looking out my bedroom window just above my bed, sleep wasn't coming easy today for some reason. Naruto couldn't spend the night either, he still had to unpack stuff and that certainly didn't help the situation.

My eyes roamed the sidewalk, and suddenly a familiar figure could be placed sitting just near the end of the path to my front door.

"Saruto!" I called with panic, hurrying to open my window, "Saruto!"

The cat peered up at me from below, its eyes seeing me for the first time in a long time. My heart bounced with an excited feeling as his acknowledgement soothed my worries, but then he slowly rose gracefully, his tail swishing casually as he walked away, down the sidewalk and into a distant scene.

He only looked back once, and he never returned.

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**So any guess as to why Saruto would do such a thing? Also, chapter 15 is already half-way completed. Honestly, I'm disappointed in my introduction of the "grandparents" because it seriously didn't turn out the way I thought it would XD, but I hope u like it anyway. I hope you still like it though~! Even if it wasn't much! REVIEW, RIGHT THERE, CLICK A BUTTON AND DO IT BECAUSE...THE...SOMETHINGS HAVE COMMANDED SO!**


	15. Chapter 15

**HEY GUESS WHO FINISHED THE ENTIRE STORY! I DID!**

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**Chapter Fifteen: To Crave You**

Saruto was gone.

I had no idea why, or even how? How did he get out in the first place? Now that I think about it…how did he get in to begin with? Either way, the cat haunted my dreams for the rest of the night. I texted Naruto about it in the morning and received a feeble frown face, and an "I'll look around for him!" but none of that really made me feel better.

It's not Naruto's fault though, I'm just a pessimist.

Plus there was just a gut feeling that Naruto would never find the cat because the cat was already out of reach. Long gone in some other world beyond the one I call "home".

Around lunch time, Naruto apologized to me for being unable to find Saruto, but I just told him not to be stupid because it wasn't really his fault. I could tell he still felt somewhat guilty though, and invited me to hang out at the library with the "gang" in order to make me feel better.

The last time I was at the library with the "gang", I believe I recall slamming lots of books resulting in Naruto telling me to "be quiet" which only angered me into slamming more books and into calling him an idiot…..yeah something like that.

So I replied "why not."

And that's how I ended up at the library with Kiba, Naruto, Gaara, Ino and it appears like Sakura is also here, against her will I might add. She still can't stand to see me and Naruto together, especially after I forced him to kiss me about a hundred times in front of her at lunch just to fuck with her. Naruto was pretty happy about it so he didn't question me.

I smiled and waved at Sakura from the couch since she was sitting in the arm chair across from me and Naruto. She flipped me off back, I turned my waving hand into the same gesture, and then things between us were pretty much left at that.

Ino told me the other day that Sakura was convinced that not only did I hate her, but I also started dating Naruto, I'm sorry I meant "I tricked Naruto into dating me" just so I could mess with her head. What a stupid bitch, she isn't that important.

I noticed Kiba nudge Naruto, why wouldn't I notice someone touching my things? Anyway, he leaned into Naruto's ear and whispered, "Have you told Sasuke about the game yet?"

"What game?" I said catching everyone else's attention. Everyone smiled deviously.

"Well you have to be quiet; in order to play otherwise the librarian will kick us out." Kiba informed me, "It's really kind of stupid, but we basically dare others to do outrageous things for prizes. For example: I dared Naruto to yell at you about slamming books, but at the time we didn't know it was you and when Naruto realized he just got into it…anyway, his prize for that was a discount coupon to an authentic ramen shop downtown. "

I fake glared at Naruto, "You pissed me off for ramen?"

"Don't judge me!" Naruto cried, throwing his hands up into the air, instantly making me smile the bastard.

"Alright I get it." I told Kiba, "Any other rules?"

"Yeah, you can't be caught by the devil librarian, unless the dare involves the devil librarian, if you do every prize you earn gets taken away." Kiba replied, pointing over to the stern woman sitting behind her desk, she was oddly enough, not paying much attention to us. "Who wants to start?"

"I want to!" Naruto declared raising his hand; Kiba ignored him and looked around more.

"Anyone else?" Kiba asked, Naruto waved his hand frantically in Kiba's face, but he shoved it away, "You better volunteer before I just pick you."

"Fine." Said Pink Bitch, uncrossing her arms and scooting forward challenging me with her eyes, "I'll take the first dare."

"And I will be the first to dare if you don't mind." I said, surprising Kiba. Everyone seemed a little nervous considering how we get along, but I insisted, "As a beginners reward."

"Alright." Kiba said, unable to keep the uneasy look off his face. I smirked at Sakura, her eyes challenged me.

"I want you to go up to the devil woman over there and scream really loudly in her face that you have an obsession with donkey porn, and are looking for a book as a how to guide because your first show is in a few days." She gritted her teeth, a blush forming on her cheeks while everyone else responded with shocked amused faces. "Your reward will be a free shopping trip, that I completely pay for. I'm not that mean."

Sakura stood, we all watched her walk slowly up to the librarian, leaning down near her and saying very loudly, "I-I NEED SOME DONKEY PORNO HELP! I HAVE A SHOW IN A FEW DAYS AND I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A BOOK TO HELP ME WITH IT! I'M JUST OBSESSED WITH IT!"

Sakura got kicked out.

It was really worth it, shopping trip or not. The rest of the dares were pretty fun to, but I had to go up to a random guy sitting in the corner of the library and lick his face….I'm not going to lie, I did it just for the gift card to my local bookstore. But it made Naruto mad, he instantly reacted, dragging me to another corner of the library.

Where he proceeded to lick my face as he pleased, and kiss me as well when I teased him about being a dog. Finally he was just satisfied hugging me to him while complaining, "I could buy you all the books you want, and you name it I'll get it for you! You don't need a stupid gift card!"

I patted him on the head, "Alright, sorry for doing the dare and hurting your feelings."

"Well…..it was just a dare…so you don't have to apologize." Naruto answered, hugging me tighter, and unsettling my heart, making it's beating flutter, "But…it feels nice to be able to be close with you after a while."

I had no idea how much I craved him. Just his presence was all it took to satisfy me, to make me happy, us together is all I need. Now doesn't that sound like something a corny book would have in it? Unfortunately, it's kind of true… and if that makes me another idiot I guess I have to deal with that.

When I got back to the house, Itachi had left a note on the counter saying that he wouldn't be home until tomorrow, and to please text him in the morning even though I never do.

So for the first time, I was alone in that house, it wasn't like before when I had Saruto to keep me company. There was no one around to call "idiot", apparently no father to listen to, Itachi was gone as he used to be and Naruto was grounded momentarily for shoving ramen into a blender and then pounding it with a spoon in his bowl, effectively breaking the bowl itself; which is the description I heard from the phone call he got after doing some…things in the library bathroom and how I ultimately ended up home much earlier than planned.

Idiot, he must have been hungry.

It seemed somehow that my life had returned to its old ways.

It seemed more natural, more familiar to me than anything else and I hated it more than anything. I paced around my kitchen, up the stairs and into my bedroom where I also paced some more.

Yelling in my head the whole time: Itachi, Naruto, and Saruto, where did all of those assholes run off to and leave me? Oh well, I'm not going to whine about it anymore. I've been alone I can handle it. Hey, it's a blessing. Still…the stupid thought lingered.

What if I was always ultimately meant to be alone?

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**AND GUESS WHAT ELSE! I'VE DECIDED TO TORTURE, BECAUSE I WANT MORE REVIEWS~! just give me like idk...5! (but i might get impatient and just say eh fuck it) also, I feel terrible, so if you read chapter 18 and feel like you would rather have it end at 17...I completely understand T-T but that's a later note. **

**Also I would really pay attention to the names of these chapters!**


	16. Chapter 16

**YAY I GOT TONS OF COOKIES~!This one is short, and unfortunately they are going to keep getting shorter, but that's just how my plot line works. **

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**Chapter Sixteen: To Feel You**

I never imagined that Itachi could win anything against my father, never in my life.

But he did, Naruto and I were messing around downstairs, I was teaching him the art of minding his own business with a stick and he was pretending to be Sakura. Don't ask, practice the art of minding your own business and stay out of our role playing games. Anyway, that's what we were doing when Itachi suddenly rushed into the room, and aura of complete joy shining off of him.

"I think something good happened, but you need a shower because I've never smelt anything that horrible in my life." I replied as he rushed in, he took a second to sniff his shirt before shaking his head and turning to us.

"Sasuke is moving out with me!" Itachi exclaimed in victory, shouting from the upstairs as he rushed to our bathroom, "I beat Father's ass!"

Naruto looked at each other for a second in shock, before erupting with signs of glee. We heard the slight noises of Itachi coming back down the stairs, he peeked over at us from the railing, "By the way, why is Naruto wearing a pink wig, with no shirt, and what are you doing wearing a tight all black outfit with a stick in your hands?"

"Do you really want to know Itachi?" I answered, he shook his head, returning his pace up the stairs, and nothing could ruin this day for me, not even awkward moments with Itachi! I felt something rush through my veins, propelling me forward.

I immediately started packing for our new home, which Itachi already bought and everything. I packed a box of clothes, and threw a few books in there and my laptop. I didn't have to take any furniture since apparently Itachi already had that covered. I don't really care though because there isn't anything else of value in my life, because everything in this room has been broken to me since I stopped living. The only thing that holds my eye as a true valuable is the watch I received as a fake birthday present from Naruto and Itachi.

But I was wearing that, so I didn't have to pack it.

"This is crazy Sasuke." Naruto said as he sat on my floor, suddenly his head perked up and he gave me the I-have-something-that-will-probably-get-us-in-trouble-look, "Sasuke…..do you want to bake a cake?"

My father's number one pet peeve is a dirty kitchen. He can't stand it. I smiled at the idea of "baking a cake" with Naruto, imagining the look of horror on my Fathers face as he arrived home to a horrific sight, "Let's do it!"

We raced to the kitchen, I won because Naruto is so clumsy he slid on the floor near the stairs and slammed into the wall.

"Get some flour." I ordered as he entered the kitchen, he smiled.

"And eggs right?!" He answered, I smirked back with a nod as he rushed toward the fridge and I got tools out of the drawers.

"Here we go." He poured those things into a bowl, setting it front of me. "What next?"

"Water and cooking oil.", I replied, acting serious. He nodded, getting those things for me and also pouring them into the bowl.

"Don't we need some kind of cake mix or something?" He answered, I face-palmed.

"We aren't actually baking a cake remember? That's just our excuse." I replied, his eyes lit up with an "oh" and I wondered why he thought we would even bother making an actual cake.

"I'm kind of hungry, but making a mess should be fun enough." He smiled, "What next?"

I pretended to think about it before replying, "Get me Itachi's chocolate syrup." Naruto's eyes widened at the thought of getting Itachi's syrup, the ultimate no-no, but it was okay today: 1. because we're leaving the syrup behind anyway, 2. because I texted Itachi about it while Naruto was getting the ingredients and he said it was all good. But Naruto didn't know that.

"Are you sure?" I gave him my "just do it" look and he turned into mush, before getting me the syrup I requested. Without warning, I took the syrup from his hands, pulled the cap up, and proceeded to spray him with it.

"Wha-Sasuke!" Naruto complained, grabbing the flour out of the bowl and throwing some at me. It turned into a very weird food war, like some kind of 80's movie, or is it 90's where food fights are popular?

When we were finished, changed from our weird roleplaying gear and clean Itachi inspected the damage. "Looks good." He answered, examining the syrup running on the wall with a questionable face. Somewhere in-between want and slight sadness, I guess because he can't eat it.

Then we were ready to leave, Naruto helped me carry my box out the door, and some of Itachi's goods, I turned my key in my hands realizing that this would be the last time I would ever be leaving this house, I looked back into the rooms I could see, saying goodbye to all the bad memories. Savoring only the sweet that I had almost forgotten existed.

I shut the door, feeling the warm metal of the knob on my fingertips. This house has never been warm to me; it's always been cold and filled with everything I have always wanted to forget.

So that's what I'm going to do from now on, forget and replace those old memories with the new sweeter ones I want to savor.

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**YAY! Alright now here comes 17...and btw . #se SasuNaru petition? O-o WHY NOT**


	17. Chapter 17

**hey! alright so here it is, if you decide that you want this to be the ending in your heart, I completely understand**

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**Chapter Seventeen: To Have You**

Things with my Father were swept under the rug; living with Itachi was like learning how to breathe again. To think that Itachi could really take our father down so easily, maybe he black mailed him.

Either way, my current life could compare to nothing I have ever experienced.

Naruto and Kiba finally put together a small party for the group to hang out at, a pool party with lots of swimming and many attempts of drowning Sakura. Though even my relationship with her is slowly progressing after doing some hateful shopping together to be honest, she's no longer a Pink Bitch, more like a Pink Slut. For me personally that's a step up on my list.

Life is going good, my grades are now nearly perfect, and things with Naruto have certainly…progressed….it all seems like a dream.

A happy wonderful dream, and I'm one of those stupid characters, in those idiotic books that I always complain about aren't I? I mean who really gets a happy ending in life?

But then again, I created this ending. It was just as Itachi said, I had to hold up my head and no longer let my fear completely guide me through life, not out of spite for my Father or anything propelled by anger itself, but for the pure reason of my happiness.

I thought about that day in the bathroom for the first time since it happened, I looked around at all the laughing faces around me and told myself that I wouldn't have been able to experience this at all if I did what I intended.

If I hated my life, I had the power to change it all along. It was right there whispering in the corner of my ears every day and all I needed was the courage to siege it and make it come to life. No matter how hard it was, or easy, or if I had to depend on others just a little in order to reach my goal; I still somehow achieved it.

There was a sudden buzz on the table near the pool chair, I checked to see an excited Itachi wanting to have my company at the movies and smiled. "Sorry guys! I have to go _home _now."

"Bye Sasuke!" I heard them call as I walked toward the exit.

I looked back at all the smiling faces; Naruto's standing out the most as he waved at me, home, what a wonderful word to say. As I got into my brand new semi-piece of shit car with fantastic air conditioning, all I could think about was one thing.

If I could describe heaven, I would pick the world I live in now and that alone made me totally at peace.

Btw for those of you wondering about Naruto's b-day gift, Sasuke decided to fill a basket with all of Naruto's favorite things (like ramen crap) and also after getting to know Naruto's grandparents better, asked for a photo of Naruto's parents to incorporate in a manly necklace for him. Srry I didn't find time to squeeze that in on the time frame!

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**whoo! Alright, I have a poll I want you guys to look out to help me decide which story I'm going to be doing first after this one! I want to see what people are really interested in...NO STEALING, I'VE ALREADY WIRTTEN...WELL STARTED THEM! But also i want to know if anyone that you know of has ever thought of that story line before as well...hmmmmmmmmmmm...RAMBLING ON WITH 18**


	18. Chapter 18

**IM THE WORST PERSON EVER**

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**Chapter Eighteen: We Could Have Loved You**

Hey, Sasuke.

I wonder what you are thinking right now as you look down on me from above, in your own private heaven because I cant imagine you anywhere else. Do you wonder, just what I am doing here of all places? Do you wonder if your guess is right? In-between all those times you wanted to kill me, to tell me, to thank me, to hold me did you ever figure it out? That I could recognize the many petals to you, the brightest flower, and how out of place you seemed in the dark of that empty house? That I hated you, and love you just as you did me even though I did my best to hide it because I wasn't being myself, I was being a coward?

That the day you died was The Day I Died.

If I had come in sooner, if I hadn't been so afraid, I could have held you, I could have helped you instead of being here, in this place I once visited with you before, placing flowers in your designated area and imagining every minute what it would be like if you were still here. But by the time I and Itachi got to you the next day. It was too late, and you were already long gone.

Do you know what I do now Sasuke? I imagine.

I imagine what it would be like to share just eleven more chapters of life with you.

All I needed Sasuke, all I needed was ten more chapters with you; To Hug You, To Kiss You, To Love You, To Save You, To Complete You, To Make You, To Miss You, To Crave You, To feel You, To Have you.

Then there is Itachi, a man who hides his tears with skill. A man who has always cared for you, a man who has always felt nothing but guilt and shame, and if you had just been here for just ten more chapters you would have known that to.

In just eleven more chapters of our lives together, though maybe not as easy as I imagine, we could have ended it all like they do in those stupid books you always complained about.

We Could Have Loved You.

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**I know I already told you about the poll thing, for my next story, but I also want to note that even though having at least one person dead in my stories is kind of a signature for me XD, none of these will have a character die. **

**Also I hope no one seriously gets mad at me...O_o I wonder if i put this in the wrong genre...THANKS FOR READING~! AND IF U CANT VOTE ON POLLS, PM ME WHAT U WANT XD**


	19. EXTRA INFO CAUSE IM LAZY

YO! If your reading this before 6pm today 8/13/12,I don't have the polls up yet because they are on my home computer and Im not there right now sorry! Wait for me~~! Information can be found on my profile after this time for Summeries and blah so BLAH.

Alright, and I typed this out because I'm to lazy to edit one of my docs…..

Bearhumpinghoneyeatingslappe r here! REVIEW THAT SHIT. Please~! :D I will give you a panda with a mustache~! Or an Asian. OR AN ASIAN WITH A MUSTACHE. Whichever works.

COMMON QUESTIONS?

**1. What's up with Saruto? **At the beginning Saruto is very close with Sasuke, even though Sasuke sometimes pushes him away he still loves him, but after Sasuke commits suicide, and you as a reader dont quite realize it yet, Saruto the cat becomes a symbol that something is wrong in Sasuke's heaven/Naruto's dream. Saruto only acknowledges those in the house still alive, such as Naruto and Itachi while avoiding Sasuke completely or even treating him as if he's not there. In a weird way, from Sasuke's point of view I like to think of Saruto as a symbol that something isnt quite right, though Sasuke is blinded by happiness to really realize what it is.

**2. ****SO HE DIED IN CHAPTER 7? **Yes he did die in chapter seven, The Day I Died (I think thats the title name, not quite sure right now)

** was all that after he died in chapter Seven then? **It was a colision of Sasuke's heaven and Naruto's imagination or dream. Because in reality they ended up being one in the same thing. Naruto had already realized before chapter 7 that Sasuke was not happy living the way that he was and desired to save him from it though he could not find the courage to do so when he had the "opportunity" to do so. Therefore he imagines that he had saved Sasuke, and Sasuke in turn wanted to be saved.

** you had wrote this story with Sasuke still alive, would it have been the same?** No, it wouldn't. There would have been more of a struggle with Sasuke's Father, and getting together with the "rest of the gang" would have been more challenging. I did my best to kind of make the chapters after his death kind of seemingly real yet somewhat light, Sasuke is constantly questioning what was going on at first if you remember, because everything was to easy. In other words it was supposed to be kind of...heavenly and almost like a dream.

**5. Where does Naruto's imagination come into all this?** Through out the story, Naruto and Itachi are constantly making up sort of excuses for Sasuke's questions, even though they both know he's dead, this is where Naruto's imagination comes into play. He makes up excuses,sometimes through Itachi and even has Itachi finally fight for Sasuke, because he wants it to stay real. Kind of weird, but true XDD this part is a bit confusing to other people but I tried!


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